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The Reality: Your Happiness Is in Your Hands
by Jamie Ellis
May 16, 2023
As adults, we often find that certain responsibilities fall squarely on our own shoulders. No one is going to prepare our meals for us, nor will anyone assist us with personal hygiene. And while I might shout from the bathroom, “I’m done! Someone help me!” the truth remains that I’ll still be the one to take care of it. We handle these tasks because we’re capable, and it’s part of growing up to take ownership of our self-care.
So, why do we often look to external sources for happiness? Just like food and water, our emotional well-being is essential. Yet, we frequently let our happiness depend on external factors, waiting for joy to arrive while being swayed by events. A compliment at work or a smooth day can uplift us, but a small mishap, like a fender bender or a burnt meal, can easily ruin our mood.
Happiness isn’t a mere coincidence. Sure, some days are easier to navigate than others—like when an unexpected check arrives in the mail. However, genuine happiness is more about how we respond to life’s circumstances rather than what happens to us. When we recognize that we control our reactions, we gain the power to not let anything or anyone bring us down.
Life throws us various challenges, and sometimes the hand we are dealt feels unfair. We may find ourselves disappointed, but it’s essential to embrace a simple mantra: It is what it is. Acceptance doesn’t always come easily, especially for those who prefer to maintain tight control over their lives. Yet, like any skill, it becomes easier with practice.
When I refer to controlling our responses, I mean the everyday ups and downs: a demanding supervisor, a spilled drink, or a mishap on the sidewalk. I’m not suggesting we wear smiles during profound grief or loss. Emotions like sadness, anger, and grief are vital aspects of life that help us appreciate happiness.
There’s always a silver lining, even in tough times. Sometimes it takes effort to uncover it, but there’s always something—no matter how small—to be thankful for. Even if it’s as minute as a single pebble on a beach, focusing on that can shift our perspective.
Engage in the activities you love more frequently. Listen to uplifting music. Reflect on your life and cherish what brings you joy.
Why is this crucial? When you cultivate happiness within yourself, you naturally become a better version of yourself—whether as a partner, parent, friend, or member of the community. Placing your expectations of happiness in others is a surefire way to disappointment. Just as no one will dress you in the morning, no one will bestow long-lasting contentment upon you. That responsibility rests with you.
Happiness is not a gift given by others; it’s a treasure we create for ourselves. Being accountable for our joy also means acknowledging our mental health needs and seeking support when necessary. For individuals struggling with depression or anxiety, it takes more than a positive outlook to regain stability; it’s not simply about adjusting one’s attitude.
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In summary, the key to happiness lies within ourselves. By taking responsibility for our emotions and actively seeking joy, we can navigate life’s challenges with resilience and positivity.
Keyphrase: Your Happiness Is in Your Hands
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