In discussions surrounding breastfeeding past the age of one, a common assertion arises: “It seems like the mother is nursing more for her own benefit than for her child’s.” This statement often elicits laughter from mothers who have nursed toddlers or preschoolers.
I breastfed all three of my children until they were just over three years old. My approach was not driven by a strict timeline; rather, I adhered to the belief that they would naturally stop when they were ready. Raised by a La Leche League leader who later became a lactation consultant, I was no stranger to the idea of extended breastfeeding. My mother nursed me until I was 2.5 years old and I witnessed my younger brother nursing until he entered preschool. The World Health Organization advocates for breastfeeding for a minimum of two years, and this concept was normalized in my upbringing.
When I began nursing, I did not envision breastfeeding a three-year-old. As my children grew, they gradually nursed less frequently, often reducing to just one or two sessions a day. It’s important to note that there isn’t a specific age at which breastfeeding suddenly feels inappropriate; rather, it evolves naturally. While there were moments of annoyance, it was never strange for me.
The assertion that extended breastfeeding serves the mother’s interests more than the child’s is perplexing. Many mothers who practice child-led weaning are often ready to stop before their children are. I found myself prepared to wean around age two but chose to continue because my children were still attached to nursing, particularly at bedtime. Abruptly stopping would have caused them distress, and I preferred to avoid that upheaval.
In truth, we were gradually weaning from the moment my children began eating solid foods. This process was slow and guided by both my children and me. Initially, I would only nurse when they requested it, then I attempted distraction techniques, sometimes successfully, sometimes not. Eventually, we established specific rules, such as nursing only at home or only at bedtime. Over the years, we created boundaries that helped facilitate a gentle transition away from nursing. In the end, my children only nursed upon waking, and this was a natural progression.
Throughout this experience, I never thought, “I really want to breastfeed right now.” Early on, there were instances of engorgement that made nursing appealing, but beyond that, it was not about my desires.
Those who claim that breastfeeding past a year is self-serving have likely never experienced nursing a toddler. The demands of a toddler can be intense, and while nursing has its sweet moments, it can also be challenging. Yet, given the research indicating no harm in nursing beyond a year and the continued health benefits of breast milk, I was comfortable allowing my children to wean at their own pace.
Let me clarify: I did not continue nursing my children past infancy out of a desire to keep them dependent on me, nor did I derive any personal gratification from it. The insinuation that a mother might breastfeed for her own needs is not only misguided but also offensive, as it approaches the realm of inappropriate assumptions.
I find it puzzling that people feel compelled to make such sweeping generalizations about experiences outside their own. While I understand that the image of a toddler nursing may seem unusual to those unfamiliar with it, the unfamiliarity does not equate to it being unhealthy or unacceptable.
To those of us who have nursed beyond a year, we can assure you that there is nothing unusual or selfish about it. It simply reflects a gradual weaning process embraced by countless women throughout history and across cultures.
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In summary, breastfeeding beyond infancy is a nuanced experience that is often misrepresented. The process of weaning is gradual and varies by child, and it should not be misconstrued as selfishness on the mother’s part.
Keyphrase: Extended breastfeeding benefits
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