By: Jane Hartwell
Updated: July 26, 2023
Originally Published: March 17, 2023
I vividly recall the first instance when my son was labeled a “crybaby” by one of his peers. It didn’t come as a surprise to me—he is indeed quite sensitive, and truth be told, so am I. From a young age, I have been prone to tears; whether I’m upset, angry, or even laughing too hard, crying has always been a part of my emotional expression (and after three kids, let’s just say that it’s a common occurrence). It’s no wonder that one of my children is similarly in touch with his feelings and often sheds tears to process them.
However, as a parent, having an emotional child can be challenging. Many parents feel a sense of helplessness when their little ones cry, which can heighten stress levels due to the inability to manage another person’s intense feelings. If you’re a parent to a sensitive child, you understand that stopping those tears can feel like an impossible task.
I believe my empathy towards tears stems from my own experiences. Yet, when my son is teased for being emotional, my instinct is to defend him fiercely. Society may dictate that boys should suppress their tears, but I’ve consciously chosen to encourage my son to express himself freely. Instead of viewing him as a crybaby, I celebrate his sensitivity and individuality. While it can be overwhelming at times—especially when minor issues lead to big tears—I want him to feel secure in expressing his emotions. Crying is a natural human response, regardless of gender, and we all handle our feelings differently.
After a good cry, I personally feel a sense of relief. At the same time, I recognize that there are healthier outlets for expressing emotions depending on the context. Here are some strategies we employ when the crying becomes excessive.
Quality Time is Essential
It may seem counterintuitive, but when my son is upset, my instinct is to retreat, which can exacerbate the situation. Instead, I find that a simple cuddle session, sharing a story, or offering undivided attention can help him regulate his emotions.
Teaching Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Additionally, I focus on teaching him healthy coping mechanisms like deep breathing and visualization techniques. While it took me years to develop these skills for myself, I want my children to learn them early. Together, we practice deep breathing or envision his “happy place,” which often involves playing video games, to distract him from what’s bothering him.
Maintaining a Positive Atmosphere
Maintaining a positive atmosphere during stressful moments is crucial. Rather than telling him to stop crying, I encourage bravery and resilience in the face of challenges without directly referencing his tears. This approach promotes a growth mindset, allowing him to tackle new tasks without fear. Occasionally, a small reward can further motivate him. A simple thumbs-up from across the room can provide reassurance when tears begin to flow.
Uncovering the Root Cause
Sometimes, it’s vital to uncover the root cause of his distress. If I can calm him enough to articulate what’s wrong, it often leads to a quicker resolution. Engaging in open dialogue can facilitate problem-solving and alleviate whatever is troubling him.
Addressing Attention-Seeking Behavior
In cases where the crying is attention-seeking behavior, ignoring the tears can be effective. By rewarding positive behavior and overlooking the outbursts, I reinforce the notion that good behavior gets noticed. At times, I suggest that if he needs to cry, he can do so in his room. More often than not, this brief solitude allows him to regain control of his emotions.
Crying it Out Together
Finally, sometimes we simply need to cry it out together. My son thrives on physical affection, and as he grows, I must remind myself of his need for closeness. In moments of tears, a comforting hug and my presence can be all he requires to feel better.
Feeding the Tears Away
If all else fails, I resort to feeding him—because let’s face it, sometimes a child’s tears are just a symptom of being hungry. A quick snack can work wonders and restore harmony.
For parents, taking a moment for themselves at the end of a particularly emotional day—perhaps by binge-watching a favorite show—can be incredibly restorative. Sometimes, it’s okay to have a good cry ourselves.
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Summary
Parenting a sensitive child requires patience and understanding. Embracing their emotional expression while teaching them healthy coping mechanisms can foster resilience. By spending quality time together, encouraging open dialogue, and promoting positive behavior, parents can help their children navigate their feelings effectively.
Keyphrase: Emotional parenting strategies
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