I recognize you, balancing your infant on your hip as you wait in line at your local coffee shop. Despite your every effort, your baby continues to wail, the angry red spots appearing beneath his eyes. You glance around, silently apologizing to the onlookers, but I know what’s running through your mind.
You wish to communicate that your baby can be unpredictable, behaving this way without any clear reason. You’re genuinely trying, even if it may seem like you aren’t putting in enough effort. The reality is, it’s incredibly tough. No matter the strategy, he just keeps crying. Often, you find yourself sharing in the tears, feeling utterly worn out and defeated.
You’d love to exit the café, but you desperately need that caffeine fix.
Fast forward a few years, and I see you again, grappling with your toddler as you attempt to secure him in his car seat. When he’s upset, he becomes immovable; his small body transforms into a powerhouse of resistance, wriggling his way out like a pro. You’ve offered him the iPad, promised a trip to the park, even dug out the last of those chocolate treats hidden in your purse. But alas, he’s trapped in an emotional whirlwind that he simply cannot escape.
I watch you press his tiny body into the seat, tears welling in your eyes. The same look I saw years before — the one that questions, “Who is this fierce little person? Did I somehow contribute to this? Is this just their nature? Why is this happening?”
Years later, I see you again, bringing him home from school. The thud of his backpack hitting the floor is shortly followed by his body collapsing in a fit of screams, fists pounding against the ground. You speak to him gently, offering a snack (you know he’s famished), trying to reason with him as best as you can.
But when the storm of emotions hits, there’s no escaping it, at least for a while. So, you sit with him in that small room, watching him wracked with sobs, those familiar red blotches — reminiscent of his baby days — reappearing on his cheeks and even near his lips.
I know the thoughts racing through your mind now: “Shouldn’t a 7-year-old be past this? Is my child the only one experiencing these after-school meltdowns? When will this end?”
Oh, dear mama, it’s incredibly challenging, isn’t it?
I want you to understand that I see you. I recognize you for who you are.
You are the mother of a spirited child. A sensitive soul who has been this way since birth. In infancy, your baby was the high-needs one, the one who craved constant attention, cried persistently, and couldn’t be set down. Yours was the toddler who threw tantrums, not the child who could be easily diverted or soothed with fun promises. And traditional forms of discipline? They never seemed to resonate with your kid, at least not like they do with other children.
Nothing seemed effective. Because when your child feels something — oh boy — they feel it deeply, and no distraction can pull them away from it. Even now, as they grow older, your child remains different from their peers. They express emotions freely, without restraint. There’s no choice in this; it’s simply who they are.
But let me share a different perspective. I see the potential in this child. A child who loves with fervor, whose interests are profound, insightful, and always genuine. This child possesses a unique creativity, harnessing their sensitivity to pursue ideas passionately and wholeheartedly. This child shows remarkable perseverance and dedication to their pursuits.
With you, this child can be a handful, and likely always will be. You are their safe space, their haven. They will always carry intense feelings — emotions that may spill over at the most inconvenient times.
When you’re caught in the midst of these emotional outbursts, it can be incredibly difficult to see beyond the chaos. Society often fails to honor those BIG FEELINGS. Sometimes, we simply become overwhelmed and cannot hold back our emotions. (A tip: many sensitive adults were once children who drove their parents to the brink as well).
So hang in there, mama. I see you. I resonate with your experiences. I know that child who challenges you — the one you sometimes fear may struggle in life. But that notion is unfounded. Before you know it, this child will blossom into something remarkable. I can’t say exactly what that will look like, but I am certain it will be extraordinary and uniquely beautiful. This child is destined to light up the world with their spirit and authenticity.
So, hold on, gather your patience, and trust that you are nurturing an incredible individual—a true gift to humanity.
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Summary
This article highlights the struggles and emotional challenges faced by mothers of sensitive and difficult children. It acknowledges the depth of feelings these children experience, the unique qualities they possess, and emphasizes the importance of patience and understanding in their upbringing. By recognizing the potential within these children, parents can find comfort in the belief that they are raising remarkable individuals.
Keyphrase: Difficult child parenting
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