The holiday season can present unique challenges for children on the autism spectrum. The combination of school breaks, large gatherings, loud voices, and overwhelming scents can create an environment ripe for distress. As a parent of twins with autism, I’ve learned how to navigate these potentially chaotic gatherings. While Christmas may not be the most accommodating holiday for individuals with autism, these strategies can help you foster a more pleasant experience for your family.
Plan to Arrive Early
Getting to your destination ahead of time allows your child to acclimate to the new environment before the crowd arrives. This can ease the transition from the car to the home setting. For my son, the shift from the van to Grandma’s living room can be gradual; giving him space and time to adjust is crucial.
Prepare Familiar Foods
It’s essential to bring along food that your child will eat. For us, this often means a simple fruit salad—plain fruit without any added ingredients. In the past, we’ve brought entire meals, including lunch meats and rice crackers, to ensure the boys have something they’re comfortable eating, even if it wasn’t traditional holiday fare.
Consider Hosting
While hosting can be more financially demanding, it often proves to be a less stressful option. I find that when we host, I can curate the environment to suit my children’s needs. It also allows for a more relaxed atmosphere where I’m not constantly worrying about my kids disrupting someone else’s home.
Provide Engaging Activities
To keep the kids occupied, we bring along familiar games, like our Wii gaming system. This gives my sons something engaging to do while others socialize. Without an activity, one of my sons tends to find ways to occupy himself that can be disruptive.
Establish a Quiet Eating Area
Designate a calm space for meals and breaks away from the lively dining area. I’ve seen families create cozy spots, like a pantry, for their children to enjoy their meals in peace. In our case, we once fed our boys in a breezeway to help them avoid the overstimulation of the dining room.
Maintain a Routine
During the holiday season, routines can become unpredictable, leading to heightened anxiety. Keeping some elements of your usual schedule can help. For instance, during a gathering, I remember taking a quick drive to drop off recycling, which was part of our regular Thursday routine. This small act provided comfort for my son.
Communicate Your Needs
It’s important to inform family and friends about your specific needs, whether that’s a quiet space or assistance with your child. Most people are willing to help if they understand how to make the celebration smoother for everyone.
Prepare for Flexibility
Understand that you might not be able to stay at every gathering for long. Recognizing when it’s time to leave can prevent an escalation into a full-blown meltdown.
Practice Gratitude
At the end of the day, remember to appreciate the moments spent together, even if they were challenging. Celebrate the little victories, such as a peaceful nap or a humorous incident, like when my son cheekily snatched a warm roll from a relative’s plate.
In conclusion, while the holiday season may pose certain challenges for families with children on the autism spectrum, utilizing these strategies can significantly improve the experience. Focus on creating a supportive environment where everyone can enjoy the festivities. And don’t forget, after a long day, it’s perfectly acceptable to unwind with a glass of wine and put your feet up!
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