In a moment of crisis, I found myself navigating the challenges of caring for my granddaughter, Ava, who was just two months old and inconsolable. Despite having raised four children and step-mothered another four, I was unprepared for this level of distress. The chaos escalated as her cries triggered my one-year-old grandson, Max, who joined in the symphony of wails. Just minutes before, we had enjoyed a peaceful evening, but now, dinner was simmering on the stove while the television’s cartoons failed to provide any distraction.
My journey into motherhood began when I welcomed my youngest daughter, Lily, at age 21. Almost a year later, Ava entered our lives. Having a child and grandchild so closely spaced has its perks: I feel no guilt in purchasing clothes and toys, knowing they’ll eventually find their way to Ava. Sharing the same pediatrician and mommy group with Lily only deepens our connection, and our daughters even have matching car seats. Yet, one glaring difference emerged—none of my children had colic. So, when Lily reached out for advice, I was at a loss.
Overwhelmed, Lily sought help from doctors, pharmacists, and other mothers, trying remedies like gripe water and various pacifiers, all to no avail. One evening, I received a frantic call from her, tears streaming down her face as she confessed her exhaustion. She hadn’t showered in days, and Ava would only sleep for brief intervals. Understanding their need for relief, I offered to take Ava for the night. Initially, Lily resisted, worried that Ava wouldn’t take a bottle, and she had no pumped milk available.
Fast forward a couple of months, and Lily was preparing to return to work. I eagerly volunteered to babysit for her first three-hour shift, which would be the first time they were separated for more than a quick shower. When Lily arrived, she came armed with a diaper bag packed to the brim and an abundance of pumped milk, all while apologizing profusely. I assured her that I was excited to spend time with Ava.
The moment Lily left, I found myself juggling two crying babies, one on each hip. In a moment of desperation, I reached for the Bjorn and strapped Ava in, only to have Max grow jealous and begin crying as well. This must be what twin parenting is like, I thought. Just as their cries crescendoed, the smoke detector blared, adding to the chaos while I attempted to clear the smoke from dinner. Amid this whirlwind, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the hallway mirror—tear-streaked and frazzled. I felt utterly defeated, realizing the daily struggles Lily faced with her restless baby.
As I trudged down the hallway, singing the “ABC Song” to calm the babies—more for my own comfort than theirs—I noticed my husband, John, standing in the doorway. He gently took Max from me and disappeared into the bedroom. Taking a moment to breathe, I sat on the sofa, cradling Ava in my arms. She began rooting around, and despite having not nursed for months, I felt a phantom letdown. I instinctively offered my breast, and within moments, she was peacefully asleep.
John returned and was surprised to see Ava comforted at my breast. He asked if that was acceptable, and I couldn’t find a reason why not. All my children had comfort-nursed, and I was happy to help soothe Ava by any means necessary. When Lily returned, I recounted the entire story, and we both laughed. “I don’t mind if you don’t,” she said, to which I readily agreed.
Since that day, I’ve cared for Ava multiple times, and each occasion has involved her needing comfort at my breast. While some may find this controversial, it doesn’t bother me. My love for Lily and Ava drives me to do whatever it takes to support them, even if it means dry-nursing.
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Summary
In this article, I share my unconventional experience of comfort-nursing my granddaughter, Ava, during a challenging time. After struggling with her colic, I found a way to soothe her that felt natural and loving, despite the controversy it may evoke. My commitment to supporting my daughter, Lily, and her child remains unwavering.
Keyphrase: dry-nursing granddaughter
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