The inquiry often arises during childhood: does my parent have a preferred child? Who enjoys the highest regard from dad? Such thoughts can stir feelings of jealousy among siblings, leading us to believe that we are not the favored ones. As parents, we assure ourselves that we will treat all of our children equally, but the reality is more complex. I stand here, candid and sincere, admitting: I have a favorite child.
The child who rises with a cheerful disposition, dresses themselves without complaint, and offers to lend a hand is undoubtedly my favorite. The one who showers me with kisses and cuddles—absolutely my favorite. The child who is upset because of a lost toy or a broken heart also holds a special place in my heart. The one who brightens my day with humor or wisdom, or brings me to tears of joy—yes, that’s my favorite too. The child whose gaze reflects pure adoration is my favorite, without a doubt.
Interestingly, the title of “favorite” can shift by the day. On birthdays, the celebrant becomes my favorite child. Conversely, the one relentlessly calling my name or throwing a tantrum may earn the title of my least favorite. The child who is inconsolable or difficult to understand? That’s certainly my least favorite child. These roles can change frequently—sometimes even within the same hour. I refuse to apologize for the unevenness in my affections towards my three children. I cannot help how I feel, nor can I separate my emotions from my experiences as their parent.
On occasions when circumstances align perfectly—after a good night’s sleep, for instance—my patience flourishes, and everything feels harmonious. However, such days are rare gems hidden beneath layers of daily chaos. Each of my children is deeply loved, and I find comfort in my fluctuating affections. Although I may occasionally feel an internal struggle, I maintain a composed exterior, recognizing that my impatience is only temporary.
I cherish each of my children and make it a point to ensure they each feel valued. You might catch me twirling my two-year-old during a spontaneous dance party, constructing a city with my four-year-old during naptime, or cuddling my baby as the day winds down. Each time I look into their bright blue eyes, I think, right now, you are my favorite.
These little humans were brought into my life to enrich our family, but I must confess, they were also created for my own fulfillment: to experience a profound love, to engage in meaningful work, and to hold a small piece of divinity in my arms. Therefore, I don’t feel remorse when I acknowledge why each one is my favorite at any given moment. While I do sometimes grapple with a hint of guilt for selecting a child based on my emotional response, I appreciate that my affections are not contingent on achievements or personalities.
I imagine my kids will experience both feelings of specialness and moments of neglect, and they may eventually ponder who my true favorite is. This scenario seems all too familiar to me.
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Summary
Parenting can lead to the realization that affections for children may vary based on circumstances. While every child is loved, the dynamic nature of relationships often results in fluctuating favorites. Each child uniquely contributes to family life, and acknowledging these feelings creates a more authentic parenting experience.
Keyphrase: favorite child in parenting
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