It all began with a seemingly innocent comment. One day, you stumbled across one of my photos online — I was donning red lipstick, a sleek catsuit, and a sparkling vest — and felt the urge to share your thoughts. You decided to post a “joke,” one that you thought was amusing: “Wow, that girl needs a sandwich!!!”
Original and hilarious, right? Clearly, the “thin girl” must need some extra calories, perhaps a plate of fries or a juicy burger. But believe it or not, this was not the first time I had encountered such remarks. Standing at 5 feet tall and weighing 105 pounds, I often find myself the subject of unsolicited commentary about my appearance. However, this was the first time a stranger chose to attack my body in a public forum. I am a writer, and this remark was just one of many attached to an article focused on mental health.
Initially, I attempted to brush it off. Yet, here’s what I want you, the commenter, to understand: I couldn’t simply ignore your words. They lingered with me, taunting me, because deep down, they echoed a painful truth. Yes, I needed to eat; the gnawing sensation in my stomach was a testament to that. I felt weak, lightheaded, and nauseated because, in essence, I was starving. But the truth is, I couldn’t eat. My body was rebelling against the very notion of nourishment. There are several things you didn’t know before you typed that comment, but I want to share those with you.
First, “that girl” has a name: Jessica. I am a wife, a mother, a writer, and a passionate advocate for mental health. You could have known that if you had taken the time to read my article. Perhaps you simply overlooked it or didn’t care to delve deeper.
You probably also wouldn’t care to know that “that girl” carries a heart full of experiences — a heart that has felt the joy of life, the sorrow of loss, the unconditional love that comes with parenthood, and the deep hunger for nourishment, both physical and emotional.
Moreover, “that girl” has a history. She battled an eating disorder, and I suspect you won’t grasp the weight of those words when I say that the struggle continues daily. Even after seven years of what I call recovery, “that girl” still pulls at the skin around her waist, fixating on areas she perceives as flaws. Where you see a slim figure, “that girl” sees imperfections – a body distorted by her own critical gaze.
To cope, “that girl” engages in relentless exercise, running five miles a day, five times a week. She does it to maintain sanity, to remain slender. She runs not only because she enjoys it, but because her mind insists she must.
Beyond counting calories, “that girl” meticulously tracks sit-ups, steps, pushups, and lunges to ascertain whether she has earned the right to indulge in a treat, like sharing an Oreo with her daughter. Just that morning, she stepped on the scale for the first time in a year and found a number that horrified her, sending her into a cycle of self-criticism and determination to eat less and exercise more.
While you may have thought your comment was innocuous — just a joke — it was anything but. It was a reminder that “that girl” is often viewed through the lens of critique rather than compassion. Your words made her feel judged once again, the focus of unwanted attention.
So, I ask you to think before you make jokes, before you comment, and before you type. Behind every article is a person — a journalist, a writer, a human being — with their own struggles and stories. You cannot possibly know what they have endured or are currently facing.
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In summary, our words hold power, and it is crucial to be mindful of how they may impact others. Every person has their own battles and vulnerabilities, and what may seem like a lighthearted comment could have deeper ramifications.
Keyphrase: Think Before You Type
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