From my earliest memories, my father has been an actively involved presence in my life. As a child, he never missed a chance to read me bedtime stories—often multiple tales in one night. He was there for family dinners, took us on outings to the playground, and even treated us to special trips to fast-food joints when Mom wasn’t around. He attempted to teach me how to ride a bike and play football, even if my skills were lacking (that was no fault of his!). Late nights were often spent together finishing science projects, and he was always present at every school event—be it parent/teacher conferences, performances, or dance recitals. I still remember the tears he shed on my high school graduation day and the celebratory dinner he took us to before I left for college. He was my strongest supporter, no matter how ambitious my dreams were.
It wasn’t until my teenage years that I encountered the prevalent myth suggesting that Black fathers are often absent from their children’s lives, supposedly more so than fathers of other races. The media has historically painted a bleak picture of Black fatherhood, especially during the 1970s and ’80s, when societal issues like drugs and poverty began to plague our communities. Black fathers were portrayed as frequently missing or abandoning their families. This narrative overlooked the fact that many were being unfairly separated from their families due to systemic injustices, including disproportionately high incarceration rates among Black men.
A 2014 report from the CDC corroborates the truth that many in the Black community have long known: Black fathers are just as engaged and involved with their children as fathers of other races, if not more so. While it’s true that Black fathers are less likely to live with their children due to various challenges, a significant 67% of them see their kids at least once a month—higher than the 59% reported for white and Hispanic fathers, according to data from the Pew Research Center. Senior researcher Gretchen Livingston commented, “Blacks look a lot like everyone else,” reinforcing the findings of the CDC report.
Moreover, the report highlights that Black fathers excel in areas such as feeding their children and reading to them daily, particularly with kids under five. For older children aged 5 to 18, Black fathers are notably more likely to assist with homework on a daily basis. While the statistics may show some similarities across racial lines, they reveal no significant disparities specific to Black fathers, which can challenge some people’s beliefs. Coverage from the Los Angeles Times also noted that these statistics “defy stereotypes about Black fatherhood.” Ultimately, these stereotypes are just that—baseless myths.
In my family, every man has been a loving and present father. Though there may not be concrete evidence to support this, one could argue that Black men often strive harder to be engaged fathers, perhaps as a means of counteracting the negative stereotypes they and their children face. I recall a scene from the show Everybody Hates Chris, where Chris’s teacher assumed he had no father solely based on the color of his skin.
The media frequently depicts Black fatherhood as being “in crisis.” Many commercials and advertisements for fatherhood initiatives feature Black fathers engaging with their children, inadvertently perpetuating the myth of absenteeism. Numerous websites and articles continue to highlight this alleged crisis, often backed by misleading narratives. Yet, the Pew Research Center has consistently monitored these trends and found no significant differences between Black and white fathers.
Dr. Roberta L. Coles, a sociology professor at Marquette University, has dedicated years to studying Black fatherhood. In an interview, she emphasized the importance of sharing a more accurate portrayal of Black fathers, stating, “It’s crucial to highlight that this narrative does not encompass the whole truth. There are many men out there genuinely striving to do their best.” Additionally, the book Bet On Black, curated by Kenrya Rankin Naasel, features essays from Black women reflecting on being raised by great Black fathers. Naasel expressed her hope that Bet On Black would challenge the negative rhetoric surrounding Black families, shifting the conversation to one that celebrates rather than denigrates.
While it may come as a surprise to some outside the Black community, the reality is that Black fathers are consistently present for their children and families, fulfilling their roles with love and dedication. I was fortunate to be raised by one of these remarkable fathers.
The evidence is clear. It’s time to dispel this myth once and for all in 2023.
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