As a parent, I recognize the importance of taking time to recharge daily. From the moment I decided to become a mother, I understood that I wouldn’t be able to provide constant entertainment for my children—it simply isn’t in my nature. The pressure to be “on” all the time can lead to irritability and stress. This doesn’t mean I love my children any less; rather, I cherish our time together more when they can engage in play independently, especially when I’m focused on tasks like cooking or catching up with friends via text.
Finding joy in observing my children from a distance is a legitimate experience. I feel a sense of happiness and fulfillment when they play contentedly while I engage in activities like baking or reading. These moments, even if brief, hold immense value. And even when they’re not playing harmoniously, I maintain my stance on not constantly entertaining them—they don’t need to be over-scheduled or micromanaged. They are kids, but also…
1. I Advocate for Free Time.
I prioritize carving out personal free time each day, as it revitalizes me and equips me to handle our busy lives. Kids also benefit from having their own space and time to daydream and unleash their creativity. Like adults, they can become overstimulated and irritable.
2. Excess Entertainment Reduces Their Self-Sufficiency.
During the early days with my first child, I devoted a lot of time to keeping him entertained, which led him to expect constant engagement from me. While I don’t regret those moments, it was evident that he required more attention than my other two children, who learned to entertain themselves more readily.
3. They Learn to Appreciate the Present.
Living in the moment is essential for both kids and adults. The most memorable experiences often come from unplanned, spontaneous afternoons. If I were to hover over them all the time, I would hinder their ability to learn and grow independently, missing out on critical life skills like sneaking candy or experimenting with makeup for their new YouTube channel.
4. Toys Should Have Purpose.
What’s the use of all the toys they receive if they don’t engage with them? Sure, I join in occasionally, but only until the playtime doesn’t go my way. If I’m not getting a Barbie foot massage out of it, I’m not interested. Allowing children to play alone enables them to explore their imagination while giving me a moment to recharge.
5. I’m Not a One-Woman Circus.
I juggle cooking, cleaning, carpooling, and preparing for various activities. While I actively participate in my children’s lives, I also encourage them to entertain one another. This was a significant reason for having multiple children.
6. I Have My Own Life.
I need my kids to engage in their activities because I have responsibilities outside of mothering. I have friends and family who rely on me, and while my kids are a priority, they occasionally need to take a back seat.
7. Their Fun Multiplies Without Me.
I can be a bit bossy and not always enjoy games with arbitrary rules. They have a blast when I’m not around, as I tend to make things competitive, especially when I’m losing to a ten-year-old in a game of Pig.
8. Fatigue is Real.
Let’s be honest—this is the primary reason for my stance. While I know their cognitive development is important, the reality is that I’m often too tired to engage fully. It sounds better to say I’m promoting independence rather than admitting, “I’m too worn out to play another board game after dinner.”
Free time is invaluable for both children and parents. Moms have countless tasks each day, and while engaging with children is part of that, it’s not the entirety of our purpose. So yes, you’ll find me on my phone or chatting with friends at the park while my kids immerse themselves in their own worlds—without guilt.
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In summary, creating space for children to learn independence through self-play is essential. It fosters creativity and life skills, allowing parents to manage their own lives and responsibilities more effectively.
Keyphrase: Why I Don’t Constantly Entertain My Kids
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