In a revealing interview, comedian Mark Hargrove shares his profound experience of grief following the passing of his wife, Emily, earlier this year. Hargrove reflects on how her death has transformed him and recounts the harrowing moment he found her unresponsive.
Emily Hargrove, a passionate true crime writer, passed away unexpectedly on April 21. She was engrossed in a project focused on identifying a notorious serial killer, which had taken a toll on her mental health. Concerned for her well-being, Mark had suggested she take a Xanax to help her sleep, a phrase they often used to signify a good night’s rest.
The following morning, Mark got their 7-year-old daughter, Lucy, ready for school. While picking up coffee for Emily, he returned home to find her still asleep at 9:40 AM. After working in his home office and learning of Prince’s death, he checked on Emily again, only to discover she was not breathing.
The shock of her passing left him in disbelief. “I was literally blinking trying to get out of this,” he recalled. Paramedics initially suggested an overdose might be the cause, a theory Mark still holds as he awaits confirmation from the coroner.
He describes that day as the “second worst” in his life, the first being the day he had to explain to Lucy that her mother had died. The following day, Lucy, referencing the film “Inside Out,” remarked, “I guess Sadness is doing her job right now,” prompting an emotional response from Mark.
Journey Through Grief
Hargrove candidly discusses his journey through ongoing depression, acknowledging a brief attempt to numb his pain with alcohol, which he found unhelpful. He has explored counseling and various grief literature, but ultimately, he finds solace in returning to stand-up comedy. He recently performed a new hour of material, admitting it felt clumsy but reassuring. “It was like: OK, the world didn’t end,” he said. He battled with feelings of judgment from the audience, questioning if they thought, “Your wife is dead and you’re telling jokes? What’s wrong with you?” Yet, he views his return to the stage as a defiance against grief and an acceptance of life’s complexities. “I’ll never be at 100 percent again, but that won’t stop me from living this,” he stated.
A Touching Bedtime Ritual
Towards the end of the interview, he opened up about a touching bedtime ritual with Lucy since Emily’s death. They now write down three memories of her each night, which Mark describes as a way to create a living portrait of Emily.
Lucy has emerged as a source of strength for Mark. His brother, Tom, remarked that the first time Mark saw Lucy after Emily’s death, “the color just came back to his face.” Balancing the pain of loss with the joy of parenting, Mark remains focused on completing Emily’s unfinished book and cherishing her legacy. He poignantly concludes, “I was married to an extraordinary crime fighter,” emphasizing that their shared memories will guide him and Lucy through their new reality.
Resources for Family Planning
For those interested in family planning, check out this post about at-home insemination kits, which can offer valuable resources on the journey to parenthood. For more information, visit Women’s Health for insights on infertility, and explore Cryobaby for expert knowledge on home insemination options.
Conclusion
In summary, comedian Mark Hargrove shares an intimate account of his grief following the loss of his wife, Emily, detailing the impact on his life and his daughter Lucy. Through stand-up comedy and shared memories, he navigates the painful process of healing while honoring Emily’s legacy.
Keyphrase: Mark Hargrove grief process
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]