Dear Friend,
I was thrilled to hear about your pregnancy! Congratulations on this exciting journey into motherhood. The next nine months will undoubtedly be filled with a mix of joy, anticipation, and some challenges as you prepare to welcome your little one.
There are a few things I feel compelled to share, as I want to ensure that my words and actions don’t unintentionally cause you distress. First and foremost, I want you to know how much I care for you and the precious life growing inside you. I genuinely wish for your child to arrive healthy and for you to fully enjoy the beautiful moments of this experience.
However, I must also acknowledge that I recently experienced pregnancy, and my story took a heartbreaking turn. I am aware that I may represent a fear for many expectant mothers—a reminder that, despite advanced medical care, complications can still arise. I carry with me the painful knowledge that things can go wrong even in what seems like a smooth pregnancy journey.
If I share my experiences while we’re together, please understand it’s not an attempt to dampen your excitement. I long to celebrate the memory of my daughter, a beautiful soul who lived for only two days. Unfortunately, many prefer not to discuss such loss, which adds to the complexity of my feelings.
When I offer advice about being attentive to your baby’s movements or the importance of kick counting, it stems from a place of deep awareness of how quickly a healthy pregnancy can turn into a nightmare. I want to protect you from the heartache that I’ve endured.
I hope you can appreciate that while I may struggle to fully engage in conversations about “normal” pregnancy topics, like your birth plan, it’s not out of indifference. I once had a birth plan too, but circumstances forced me to abandon it in a desperate attempt to save my daughter. The trauma of that experience still lingers, making it challenging for me to relate to certain aspects of your journey.
It’s important to me that you understand why I might not express unbridled joy about your pregnancy. I once felt guilty for not being able to share in the happiness of others, but I’ve since learned that it’s not a reflection of my feelings towards you. You have the love and support of your family and friends, and you deserve every bit of that joy.
I want to be a supportive friend during this time. If I say or do something that upsets you, please don’t hesitate to let me know. At the same time, I ask for your understanding as I navigate my own healing process. Even though I don’t have living children, I still identify as a mother. I welcome conversations about your little one, but I also hope to share about my daughter. Although she is not physically present, she remains a significant part of my life.
I cherish our friendship and am committed to supporting you as you embark on this beautiful journey. Should you want to explore more about pregnancy or even consider additional resources, I recommend checking out this excellent guide on IVF or looking into fertility supplements that may assist you.
With all my love,
Your Friend and Fellow Mama