Updated: July 17, 2023
Originally Published: July 17, 2023
Reflecting on my childhood, I realize my mother enforced a multitude of rules. With three children in the house, it was essential to establish guidelines to maintain some semblance of order. Now that I’m a parent myself, I’ve adopted my own set of rules to keep our household running smoothly.
While mothers typically have the best intentions, many of their rules now appear somewhat antiquated. With modern issues such as social media dynamics, cyberbullying, and unprecedented violence, today’s parents face challenges far beyond the trivialities of fashion etiquette like wearing white after Labor Day. Parenting has evolved significantly, necessitating a fresh approach to address the complexities our children encounter.
Parenting Principles to Modify
Below is a list of parenting principles I intend to modify, and I suspect you might find echoes of your own mother’s rules amongst them:
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Avoiding Open Conversations About Sexuality:
In my strict upbringing, discussing sexual matters was strictly off-limits. Sure, we received the awkward “birds and bees” talk, but anything beyond that was taboo. As a responsible parent, I am committed to fostering an open dialogue with my children about intimacy and relationships. My goal is to ensure they understand the emotional and physical aspects of these topics without feeling embarrassed or judged. While I don’t need a detailed account of their dating lives, I want them to know they can approach me with any questions. -
Girls Shouldn’t Initiate Contact:
My mother held the belief that it was inappropriate for girls to call boys. If I wanted to date, it was up to the boys to reach out first. This outdated notion only served to keep me dependent on male initiative. I want my daughter to feel empowered to make her own decisions regarding dating and social interactions. If she wants to invite someone to a movie, she should feel confident doing so, regardless of societal norms. And yes, I’ll attempt to suppress my instincts when a girl calls my son to ask him out! -
Always Be Nice:
Growing up, we were taught to be kind even to those who were unkind to us. My mother often reminded us that everyone has their struggles and encouraged us to “kill them with kindness.” While instilling kindness is crucial, I also want my children to advocate for themselves and others. It’s important for them to know that standing up for what is right sometimes requires assertiveness. We won’t change societal issues with mere pleasantries, though they will always be expected to express gratitude. -
Discipline and Accountability:
In our home, my mother often threatened, “Wait until your father gets home!” as a way to instill fear and ensure discipline. However, I’ve decided that discipline falls squarely on my shoulders. My husband and I present a united front, and he supports my decisions, but I am more likely the one they associate with discipline. My mom was wise in many respects, allowing me the freedom to navigate motherhood with minimal interference. No parent has all the answers, and I anticipate my daughter will adopt her own unique style when she eventually becomes a parent.
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Summary
This article discusses the evolution of parenting strategies, contrasting traditional rules with modern approaches. It emphasizes the importance of open communication about sexuality, empowering girls to take initiative, teaching assertiveness while maintaining kindness, and taking personal accountability for discipline.
Keyphrase: Parenting Beyond Traditional Norms
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