Recently, I received yet another inquiry from a family member asking about the current toy preferences of my children. I paused, searching for the right words. Finally, I admitted, “They don’t really play with toys.”
Inside, I was panicking. Please, do not add to the already overflowing toy collection in my home. It resembles a scene from a toy hoarding show, and if I have to find space for another item, I might just lose it, especially with the forgotten dolls and fast-food figurines littering the floor.
Toys that are practically untouched, of course.
The relative was taken aback and seemed frustrated that I wouldn’t suggest any toys. Do my kids enjoy toys? Well, maybe for a short while. Do they actually engage with them? Not really.
We do have a few favorites, such as Legos, light sabers, and Matchbox cars, but my kids prefer activities like screen time, jumping on the trampoline, or playing outside with friends. At ages 10, 8, and 5, they rarely sit down to explore the mountain of toys they already own.
So please, I’m begging you – refrain from buying more toys for my kids.
I often spend hours sorting through toy boxes and donating items that my kids have long forgotten. They might grumble at first, but I’ve never heard them lament, “I miss that purple squishy ball from Grandma back in 2010.”
It seems the previous generation clings to the notion that children need toys more than they actually do, much like I need to run errands with my three kids on a Saturday – which is to say, not at all.
I recall my own childhood, where my mother held onto our old Barbies in hopes of passing them down. Do I feel nostalgic about my toys? Occasionally, when I see articles reminiscing about toys from my youth. But do I wish I still owned them? Not really.
I sometimes worry that my children will be upset about me donating that enormous toy truck they desperately wanted while I was out shopping. My 4-year-old hyped up that truck for a week, and I ended up buying it secretly, only for him to open it on Christmas and barely show any excitement. Now it just collects dust, taking up space in our toy box.
When I hear, “I’m bored,” I suggest those very toys they once couldn’t live without, only to be met with blank stares. “Go play with your tow truck!” I might enthusiastically say, only to be met with confusion as they struggle to remember which toy I’m referencing. “You know, the one you got from Santa last year?” Nothing. “The cool one with the moving crane?” Finally, a flicker of recognition, only for them to declare, “No, I don’t like that truck anymore.” And thus, I am reminded of the fleeting nature of childhood desires.
But it’s not that my children are difficult; they’re simply being taught by the adults around them that accumulating toys and material possessions is the ultimate goal. Honestly, I’m exhausted by this mindset and tired of my home resembling a landfill of forgotten toys.
When night falls, it’s not a whimsical adventure like in Toy Story; it’s more like a nightmare filled with broken toys and dolls with scribbled-out faces.
Please, do not give my child another toy. No matter how wonderful you think it is, they won’t form a lasting connection with it. Kids have too much stuff as it is to remember who gifted them that forgotten truck.
Instead, consider this: Spend quality time with them. Treat them to ice cream, a trip to the zoo, or a day at the local park. I assure you, those experiences will resonate far more than any toy ever could.
If you insist on giving a physical item, consider a beloved book from your own childhood. Write a cherished memory inside the cover and read it together after they unwrap it. You really can never have too many books.
Invest in experiences rather than things. My children love visiting the zoo, museums, and participating in community classes. By supporting their interests and facilitating their exploration of the world, you’ll create lasting connections. Extra points if you join them! But even if you can’t, I’ll make sure they remember who gifted that karate class to them, and they will appreciate your thoughtfulness.
Ultimately, none of us need more material possessions. While there are those in genuine need, my kids are not among them. I’m striving to instill a sense of gratitude for what they already have, which becomes challenging when relatives shower them with toys.
So, please, resist the urge to spoil my kids with the latest gadget or trinket, believing that it will forge a connection. It won’t.
I promise that spending time with my children will help you build that bond. Witness their joy as they play outside or engage in an art class, because I refuse to buy a bigger house just to accommodate another oversized truck that will be forgotten in a week.
This article was originally published on June 23, 2016.
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In summary, the focus on material possessions, especially toys, can detract from meaningful experiences. Instead of adding to the clutter, consider investing time or educational materials that foster growth and connection.
Keyphrase: Don’t Buy My Kids More Toys
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