There’s not much I wouldn’t do to carve out a little time for myself. From volunteering for chores to negotiating with grocery clerks, I’ve turned the mundane into my personal retreat. Here’s a list of 20 creative tactics I’ve employed to persuade the universe for just a few moments of peace:
- Request an extended hospital stay post-delivery; let’s be real, home won’t be this serene again.
- Stay behind during jury duty after being dismissed; just don’t try to swap with someone else—trust me, it’s against the rules.
- Schedule a dentist visit for a cleaning I don’t actually need, just to have a half-hour of downtime.
- Book a dental appointment for my kids, so they can also enjoy a brief hiatus.
- Volunteer for a phone survey, claiming I need “quiet” to answer questions.
- Make an unplanned grocery run for laundry detergent—no one would notice if we were out.
- “Forget” to pick up our cat from the vet until right before bath time.
- Attend a homeowners association meeting; they’re practically designed for napping.
- Go to confession just so I can swing by a fast-food joint for a few crunchy tacos.
- Schedule parent-teacher conferences purely to spend time with someone else who isn’t physically connected to me.
- Engage in polite small talk with a door-to-door salesperson until they finally leave.
- Pretend to be asleep in the morning until my partner rises to attend to the baby—10 minutes of solitude feels like a vacation.
- Set an appointment with my accountant for tax prep in August, then again in March—twice, just to fill my calendar.
- Enroll my kids in gymnastics classes that don’t require parent involvement, allowing me to zone out on the sidelines.
- Declare that I’ll be folding laundry in another room, enticing anyone who wants to help, while I secretly snack on Chips Ahoy! in the bathroom.
- Let my kids enjoy some iPad time so I can savor a warm cup of coffee without the cream forming a crust.
- Drop my kids off at the recreation center childcare for a mere $3, allowing me to enjoy a mediocre cup of coffee in peace while watching people exercise.
- Hire a babysitter just to run errands I don’t even have—using that hour to sneak back to Taco Bell for more crunchy tacos.
- Play hide-and-seek with the kids, but cleverly hide while they’re searching; the confusion buys me precious minutes.
- Allow my kids to play in the bathtub for up to 45 minutes—if they love bath time, why not let it last?
I yearn for a little space in a world that offers little. Just a moment to step outside my role as a mom, even if it’s for a few breaths. Yes, I know—cherish these moments; they pass quickly. Yet, so does the grocery store bagger, who seems impervious to bribery, even with watermelon-flavored gum.
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Summary
In this article, I share 20 inventive strategies I’ve used to carve out precious moments of solitude amidst the chaos of parenting. From clever appointments to simple distractions, these tactics offer a humorous yet relatable look at the lengths one might go for a brief respite.
Keyphrase: self-care for parents
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