In contemporary discussions surrounding breastfeeding in public, opinions generally cluster into three distinct categories: 1) only breastfeed in private settings; 2) breastfeed publicly but with a cover; and 3) breastfeed freely, regardless of location. I identify with the third category as a societal member; however, as a breastfeeding mother, I often adhere to the first category out of personal comfort. This isn’t due to shame, but rather a desire to focus on nourishing my child without drawing unwanted attention to my body. After all, I prefer to keep my breasts hidden, just as many others do.
While volunteering for a fundraiser at my older child’s school, I discreetly took breaks to nurse my newborn son in the car. I felt uncomfortable nursing in front of my daughter’s friends and their parents—not from any judgment they may express, but simply due to my own comfort levels. The thought of breastfeeding in public often brings to mind the proverbial elephant in the room, as I feel the weight of scrutiny. I find solace in nursing only around those I trust and who won’t pass judgment.
Do I wish society was more accepting of breastfeeding? Certainly, but I am not ready to be the activist challenging societal norms about breastfeeding. Instead, my priority is this unique bonding experience with my child. Infancy is a brief phase, and breastfeeding creates a special connection between us. If others cannot appreciate this without feeling awkward, I prefer to nurse where I can control the environment.
Once, while dining out with my family, I noticed my son becoming increasingly restless. I scanned the restaurant for anyone who might disapprove of my decision to nurse in public, recalling the viral videos showcasing negative reactions to breastfeeding mothers. The anxiety made me wish for a more secluded booth, but upon retrieving my nursing pillow from the car, I found my baby had fallen asleep, allowing me a moment of relief.
The sexualization of breasts in society is a complex issue. While they are certainly sexual organs, they also serve the vital purpose of nourishment. This duality raises questions: Is it possible for breasts to be both sexual and functional? In certain contexts, such as breastfeeding, it would be beneficial for society to recognize the latter.
One of my cherished artworks is a statue located at the Our Lady of La Leche shrine in St. Augustine, Florida, depicting the Virgin Mary breastfeeding baby Jesus. If such a revered figure can have a shrine dedicated to her nurturing moments, why is breastfeeding still considered taboo? The discomfort many feel around public breastfeeding might stem from a conflict between societal perceptions of breasts and their primary function as a source of nourishment.
When I observe another woman nursing her child publicly, I feel a sense of admiration and gratitude for her comfort in that moment. I often want to approach her and express my support, but the words escape me. I share my own breastfeeding photos, or “brelfies,” selectively with close friends, cherishing these intimate moments but feeling hesitant to broadcast them broadly.
Ultimately, I am the kind of breastfeeding mother who opts for a dressing room at the mall or retreats to my car for a quiet space to feed my baby. Until societal attitudes evolve to embrace breastfeeding more openly, I am not prepared to make public nursing a point of contention. I appreciate those who advocate for this cause and work toward normalizing breastfeeding in all environments.
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In summary, my choice to breastfeed in my car stems from a personal desire for comfort and privacy, rather than shame. While I recognize the importance of normalizing public breastfeeding, my focus remains on nurturing my child in a space where both of us feel at ease.
Keyphrase: breastfeeding in public
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