In the world of parenting, the antics of toddlers can often seem surreal. My 1-year-old daughter, Lily, embodies this notion perfectly. She’s adorable and lovable, yet her bizarre behavior sometimes makes me question her mental state. If an adult were to engage in these wild acts, there’s no doubt they would be committed. Here are some prime examples:
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Consuming Waste
Just last week, while my 8-year-old son, Jack, and I were kicking a soccer ball in the yard, Lily discovered a piece of cat feces and decided it was snack time. What was alarming was my own reaction—more horrified than she was as I wrestled the turd from her mouth, all while she fought back. After a struggle, I had to soothe her with words I never thought I’d say: “It’s alright, sweetie. Just breathe.” If I were to consume cat poop, a hospital stay would surely be in my future. But with Lily? It was just another day in parenthood, filled with a good laugh afterward. -
Chronic Sleep Disruption
Lily is not a fan of napping and often wakes up at night, unleashing fits of screams for no apparent reason. Her daytime behavior mimics this chaos, as she cries out in frustration, mumbling in an incomprehensible language. Picture if I were to do this at work—laying on the floor and wailing in frustration when someone didn’t understand my request! -
Fecal Masterpieces
Some toddlers engage in the act of creating “art” with their own excrement. If this doesn’t warrant a psychiatric evaluation, I’m not sure what does. -
Random Screaming
Lily has taken to using screams as her primary form of communication. Wanting water? Scream. Messy diaper? Scream. Happy? You guessed it—scream. If I were to express myself this way in a meeting, I might grab attention but would likely damage my professional reputation in the process. -
Refusal to Use the Toilet
Despite her clear capability to use the toilet, Lily has no interest in it. She’s perfectly content to soil her pants and then demand a diaper change. As an adult, I’d love to have that kind of service, but society has a different standard. Imagine if I were shopping at Target and decided to relieve myself right there instead of using the restroom. That would be a one-way ticket to the hospital! -
Biting
Let’s not even get started on the biting phase. It’s just as alarming as it sounds. -
Invasive Face Touching
Lily has a peculiar tendency to touch faces, often without warning. Sometimes it’s sweet, but more often than not, it involves her sticky, booger-covered hands. If a stranger were to reach into my mouth uninvited, I’d be infuriated. Yet with my toddler, it’s a tender gesture, her way of expressing affection.
Overall, I’m confident we’ll navigate through these toddler years, as long as these peculiar behaviors subside in time.
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Summary: This article humorously explores the bizarre behaviors of toddlers through the lens of one parent’s experiences, illustrating how actions that would lead to serious consequences for adults are often just part of the chaotic charm of toddlerhood.
Keyphrase: toddler behavior
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