20 Potential Messages from My Tween Daughter

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Navigating the complexities of raising a tween girl can be quite a challenge. Each day feels like a monotonous routine where I find myself repeating the same phrases, only to receive dramatic sighs and eye rolls in return. Afternoons are often spent anxiously awaiting her return from school, carefully selecting my words to gauge her mood.

Lately, I’ve observed her engrossed in her iPad, often with headphones firmly in place. Just the other night, she walked right into her father in the hallway, claiming she “did not see him,” even as he waved frantically and called her name.

A recent development in her communication is her choice of referring to me as “Mother,” skipping the more affectionate “Mom.” Most of the time, when she does choose to respond, it’s with the phrase “I know, Mother,” often interrupting me mid-sentence. I can only speculate she’s attempting to predict what I’m going to say next, perhaps envisioning a future as a fortune teller or a star on a show like The Mentalist.

Since much of our interaction now consists of my efforts to guide her toward being a responsible individual—like reminding her not to leave multiple drawers open when she exits a room—her typical retort of “I know, Mother” leaves me to interpret her true feelings. Here are some possible interpretations of what she might really be conveying:

  1. “I have more knowledge than you think.”
  2. “Your intellect is questionable.”
  3. “I wasn’t listening; I have no idea what you just said.”
  4. “I want to have a friend over, so I’ll pretend to agree.”
  5. “All I hear is ‘blah, blah, blah,’ mixed with your childhood stories.”
  6. “I’m one of the few friends without a phone, TV in my room, or other luxuries.”
  7. “Instead of tidying my room, I just shoved everything under my bed.”
  8. “I completely refuse to follow your instructions, but who knows? Maybe I’ll do it accidentally.”
  9. “Why are you so upset?”
  10. “I don’t get it.”
  11. “You fail to understand me.”
  12. “No one seems to get what I’m going through.”
  13. “You are beyond embarrassing.”
  14. “If I fulfill your request, will you buy me something nice?”
  15. “I said I would do it, but I’m too exhausted from binge-watching Netflix.”
  16. “I promise I have no homework.”
  17. “What are you even talking about?”
  18. “I’m feeling down.”
  19. “I’m really frustrated.”
  20. “I still love you, even if I roll my eyes.”

It feels like just yesterday when she would shadow me, eager to share secrets and climb into my lap. Now, I find myself longing for any form of connection with her, hoping that beneath her eye rolls, she still holds affection for me.

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Summary

The journey of parenting a tween daughter is filled with challenges and miscommunications. While she may respond with eye rolls and the phrase “I know, Mother,” there’s often a deeper meaning behind her words. Understanding these nuances can help bridge the gap between her and her parents during this tumultuous stage.

Keyphrase: tween communication

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