Through my informal and highly scientific observations, I can confidently assert that toddlers with older siblings are 100% more likely to utter the term “buttface” before reaching the age of three. While not every home boasts an older sibling who is as enthusiastic about this phrase as mine, there are plenty of other indicators that help you determine if your little one is indeed a second child.
1. The Mini-Soccer Star
You’ll find them darting alongside older kids at soccer practice, convinced that every event is a stage for their own grand performance. Alternatively, they might be the little one glued to the rink window, staring at skaters with a mix of envy and admiration. No matter the scenario, they’re convinced it’s all about them—whether they’re there to suffer or to showcase their own (questionable) soccer skills.
2. Zombie Enthusiast
Imagine this: “Goodbye, Myrtle! Don’t let the zombie catch you!” That’s my toddler warning our elderly neighbor the other day. The premature fascination with zombies leads to some amusingly awkward situations, especially when the target of the warning doesn’t even hear it.
3. Vintage Halloween Costumes
Want a time capsule of pop culture? Just peek into a second child’s Halloween costume stash. You’re likely to discover outfits that peaked in popularity back in 2012, complete with wear and tear—and probably a few chocolate stains to boot.
4. Connoisseur of Treats
They’re the toddler who knows all about candy and juice, likely corrupting their peers with tales of sweet delights. Interestingly, they might also have surprisingly advanced dental hygiene habits, having been introduced to mint-flavored toothpaste much earlier than their older sibling did.
5. Friends with Big Kids
When you ask about their friends, don’t be surprised if your little one starts listing school-age kids instead of their peers. Your second child likely has a non-reciprocal friendship with a gaggle of preschoolers. And let’s be honest: they’ve probably mastered the art of crashing playdates, slipping in just as the door shuts behind their older sibling.
6. Training Wheel Defiance
Despite not having quite mastered the tricycle, they’re eager to ditch the training wheels. After all, if their older friends can do it, why shouldn’t they?
7. Laughter Without Understanding
They’re the ones chuckling loudly at jokes that fly right over their heads. “What the heck did the pink panther just do?” you can practically hear them thinking, as they laugh along to blend in with older kids.
8. Getting Away with Mischief
Picture this: a toddler who just whacked a school-age kid on the head, yet somehow ends up being embraced and cuddled. Why? Because they’re the baby, and who could dare upset the baby?
9. All About the Baby
In every scenario, whether it’s playdates or outings, it’s clear: the attention is often focused on the baby of the family. They know how to work that charm!
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In summary, if your toddler exhibits these traits—whether it’s their unique take on soccer, an early love for zombies, or an affinity for older friends—they’re likely basking in the glow of being the second child.