“Just wait until you have kids.” This phrase has always unsettled me, even now that I’ve embraced parenthood. Recently, while managing my daughter during a grocery store outing, a stranger remarked, “Wait until you have two!”
At first glance, it seemed innocuous, but a torrent of thoughts surged through my mind. Why do you assume I want another child? What if I was struggling with infertility—how would your comment affect me? Why does it feel like a competition to determine who has the most chaotic shopping experience?
Forcing a smile, I returned to my list, but I vowed to never utter the phrase “just wait until you…” to anyone else. In my single days, I often heard, “Just wait until you’re married.” Countless times, people have said, “Wait until you have kids.” Even back in college, I was told, “Just wait until you’re in the real world.”
Now that I’m married, a parent, and navigating the complexities of life, I still find myself perplexed by the intent behind those “wait until…” statements. My life had meaning before marriage and motherhood; it has evolved, bringing new joys and challenges, yet it remains purposeful.
There’s a constant tendency to compare our struggles, to assert that we are busier or more fatigued than others. But the truth is, we often lack insight into the battles those around us are facing. Life is fraught with difficulties—work stress, relationship problems, infertility, and countless other personal hurdles.
I refuse to say “wait until…” as it trivializes what someone is experiencing in the present. It undermines their current value and instead emphasizes future hardships. Sometimes, silence is golden. A compassionate smile that conveys, “I understand, and you’re doing great” can be far more supportive than empty platitudes.
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In summary, it’s essential to recognize the value of our present experiences and the importance of empathy in our interactions. Let’s uplift one another instead of competing over who has it tougher.
Keyphrase: “parenthood challenges”
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