A Letter to My Daughter on Your Birthday: Reflections from a Working Mom

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Dear Lily,

Today marks another year of your life, and I find myself marveling at how quickly you’re growing up. As I reflect on our mother-daughter bond, I realize that some emotions are only understood through the lens of parenthood. Tonight, I experienced one of those feelings for the first time.

In preparation for your birthday celebration, I meticulously planned the week prior. I gathered ingredients for your favorite dishes and noted every color of icing you wanted for your cupcakes. We even talked excitedly about baking your birthday cake and indulging in pineapple pizza until we felt stuffed with joy.

As a mother, I wear many hats, one of which is a career woman—a role I am passionate about. Just as I carefully orchestrated your special day, I also organize my workdays with intention. I dedicate myself to my job as much as I devote myself to our family. I often run errands during my lunch breaks, and nothing makes me happier than seeing your smiling face as I leave the office each evening.

I take pride in being both a professional and a mom, advocating for the respect that women deserve in the workplace. I want to ensure that you grow up in a world where professional success is attainable for everyone, regardless of gender.

It’s important to me that you understand that having an identity beyond “Mom” is perfectly acceptable. If you choose to have a family, I hope you also pursue your passions. When asked about your career, I wish that the first question isn’t about how you balance motherhood and work.

However, I also want to share that it’s okay to have moments like I did tonight. Despite my planning, I ended up working later than expected. Instead of making your beloved pizza and colorful cupcakes, we ordered takeout, and the icing was a single color from the store. I know you might not have noticed these small setbacks, yet they stirred a new emotion within me—a specific kind of guilt. Guilt for juggling motherhood with my career.

And yes, that guilt made me cry in my room after you had drifted off to sleep. On this significant day, I felt like I had succeeded at work but failed as a mom. I can’t pinpoint exactly why—it could be societal expectations, the significance of your birthday, or simply that things didn’t go as planned. I recognize that I’m not alone in feeling this way, and if you ever find yourself upset over similar situations, remember, you’re not alone either. Don’t lose hope.

As you grow, you will experience feelings that are hard to articulate. You may feel torn between being a mother and pursuing your interests. When you question your worth as a parent, remember that even feeling inadequate is a sign of your dedication to being a great mom.

I want to reassure you that it’s possible to be both a passionate individual and a loving mother. Embrace both roles without fear. Life will undoubtedly present challenges, and I hope you find them rewarding. It’s through these struggles that you’ll discover your strength and resilience.

You might grapple with the idea that prioritizing your passions could somehow detract from your role as a mom. Trust me, I’ve wrestled with that thought, but I believe your children will benefit from having a strong, successful role model in their lives. Ultimately, demonstrating what it means to be a determined woman is part of being a good mother.

As you navigate your own journey, I hope that when your child faces their own passions and challenges, you can encourage them just as I encourage you today—showing them that moments of imperfection don’t diminish your ability to be a wonderful mom.

With all my love,
Mom

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In summary, this letter encapsulates the intricate balance of being a working mother while nurturing a family. It highlights the emotional journey of motherhood, emphasizing the importance of pursuing passions alongside parenting, and encouraging resilience amidst challenges.

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