By: Sarah Thompson
Updated: December 24, 2023
Originally Published: December 24, 2023
In the realm of parenting, discussions about bodily functions become an everyday reality. The advice to “keep bathroom talk out of your marriage” or to maintain some level of privacy is likely given by those who have not yet embarked on the chaotic journey of parenthood. Those who make these suggestions probably also envision a spouse greeting them with perfect hair, a clean home, and a cheerful demeanor upon their return from work. Reality, however, tells a different story.
Before becoming a parent and acquiring a dog, I cannot recall ever having detailed conversations with my partner about bathroom habits. While we may have been somewhat immature and overly candid, such discussions were not commonplace. Now, it’s a rare day when we don’t find ourselves discussing the nuances of our toddler’s bowel movements. If there’s one pivotal lesson about parenting, it’s that bodily functions will inevitably take center stage.
6. The Daily Update
When exchanging childcare duties, the first question is often, “Did he poop?” Countless times, even before exchanging pleasantries, I provide an update on our 13-month-old’s latest bowel movements, detailing both color and consistency. This may seem crude to some, but many parents can relate: this is the new normal.
5. Diaper Duty Decisions
We’ve taken to playful wagers, with the loser facing the dreaded task of changing diapers. Our son, however, has a flair for the dramatic, treating the changing table as a site for protest, complete with squirming and wailing. Every change is a battle, often resulting in desperate bribes of candy. Not our proudest moments, but a parent must do what needs to be done.
4. The Great Poo Search
There comes a time when Googling “baby poop” becomes routine, often leading to image searches. After one particularly alarming episode, I ventured onto this path. I swore I wouldn’t search again, but alas, curiosity and concern led me back into the depths of diaper dilemmas. I sincerely hope I’m not the only one who has succumbed to this peculiar habit, driven by health-related concerns.
3. The Risks of Going Diaper-Free
Allowing a toddler to roam without a diaper can be a risky endeavor. During one diaper change, I foolishly handed my phone to my little one, only to look down and find him sitting cross-legged while urinating. Thankfully, my phone remained unscathed, but ignorance truly can be bliss in such situations.
2. Diaper Limitations
You may remind yourself to check for leaks before picking up your darling child, but lessons are often learned the hard way. Imagine washing a soiled shirt in a public restroom while a young child curiously asks, “Is that poo?” How did this happen to someone with a college degree? Simple: I rushed to help my child, only to find a mess waiting for me.
1. The Loss of Privacy
Your bathroom becomes a public domain. There’s little personal about this experience once you become a parent. You may find yourself in Target, holding your toddler while trying to manage your business, awkwardly maneuvering to pull your pants up with one hand. All the while, your child observes, perhaps thinking, “Mom, get it together.” The truth is, I’m rarely composed. Despite appearances, I am always on the verge of a mess.
Parenthood transforms you in ways that extend beyond the love and selflessness often discussed. It humbles you in unprecedented ways, frequently involving the messy realities of life.
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Summary
Parenthood inevitably shifts focus to bodily functions, with daily updates about bowel movements, diaper duty disputes, and the reality of lost privacy. As parents navigate these challenges, they often find humor and humility in the messy journey of raising children.
Keyphrase: Parenting and Bodily Functions
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