From a young age, I learned a few essential truths about beverages—like that red wine is best enjoyed at room temperature, white wine benefits from chilling, and you don’t have to wait for dinner to indulge in an after-dinner drink (or a few). Alongside these lessons, I discovered the fine line between moderation and excess, realizing how easily one can slip from kindness into a realm of deceit and shattered promises. These teachings came courtesy of my mother, intertwined with my early education.
My mom, while not a bad person, is trapped in the grips of alcoholism, leading her to make choices that often leave a trail of chaos. For many years, I viewed her through the lens of her mistakes, believing I might inherit her tendency toward poor parenting. This fear delayed my own plans to start a family until I felt equipped to be the kind of mother my daughter deserves.
Now that I’m a mother, I often reflect on my relationship with my own mom. Although her disease has cast a shadow over our bond, I’ve also uncovered unexpected insights that enrich my life every day.
1. Motherhood Isn’t Just Biological
I’m fortunate to have a tribe of strong women in my life. While my biological mother brought me into this world, it’s the nurturing support and love from two other women that fills the emotional gap I’ve felt. They celebrate my victories, share their wisdom, and love me in ways I wish my own mother could. Because of them, my daughter benefits from double the affection and guidance.
2. Earning the Title of “Mom”
Being a mother is more than a genetic connection; it’s about actively demonstrating love and support, especially through tough times. I strive to earn the title of “Mom” daily by being there for my daughter, and it feels rewarding to know I’m living up to that commitment.
3. Learning What Not to Do
Parenting can be perplexing. While I don’t have all the answers, I do know what to avoid. When faced with a parenting dilemma, I often ask myself what my mom would do—and then I do the opposite.
4. Cherishing Moments with My Daughter
My own experiences have shown me the importance of being present for my child, especially during those special milestones. Missing out on these moments with my mom has deepened my appreciation for every moment I share with my daughter, and I find joy in the little things.
5. Perspective is Key
Having grown up with an alcoholic parent meant I often found myself in the role of caretaker instead of child. As a result, any challenges with my daughter seem far less daunting compared to what I faced growing up. This perspective allows me to approach parenting with confidence.
6. Strength and Resilience
Motherhood hasn’t shaken my sense of self the way it does for many new mothers. I know my past struggles have equipped me with the strength to handle the challenges of parenting. This understanding has helped me transition into motherhood with grace.
My mother’s struggles have taught me how to turn life’s challenges into opportunities for growth. I hope to pass on that resilience to my daughter, teaching her to embrace life’s adversities with optimism. I aim to share these lessons without the need for a drink in hand—unless it’s lemonade, of course.
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In summary, my mother’s battle with alcoholism has shaped my understanding of motherhood in profound ways, teaching me lessons that I cherish and hope to pass on to my daughter.
Keyphrase: Lessons from Alcoholism
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