When embarking on the journey of parenthood, a barrage of advice inundates you. “You must keep her head covered!” “Feed her every two hours, without fail!” “Keep her indoors to avoid illness!” “Adjust her position; she seems uncomfortable!” “Where’s her hat? She absolutely needs to wear a hat!” The deluge can be overwhelming, exhausting, and sporadically beneficial.
However, when my second daughter arrived, I felt prepared. I had responses ready for every piece of advice that might come my way. “Bring it on!” I thought confidently as I ventured out with my little one. Surprisingly, the suggestions never materialized. Instead, people smiled, admired, and offered compliments. No one critiqued my hold on her, my feeding schedule, or her outfit. They simply allowed me to parent.
By the time your second child arrives, you transition from being a recipient of advice to a giver of it.
Having held the title of “advice giver” for over a year now, I face the challenge of sharing my insights without eliciting the same emotional responses that I experienced during my first parenting phase. I can share what strategies worked for me, what didn’t, and the moments of both joy and struggle I encountered.
Rocking my 15-month-old daughter to sleep today, I recalled a quote I recently stumbled upon: “Whatever nourishes your soul… pursue that.” In that moment, it struck me that there was no place on Earth where my youngest daughter wanted to be more than in my arms. If that doesn’t nourish the soul, I don’t know what does.
Interestingly, during those early days with my first child, I received a flood of warnings: “Avoid rocking her to sleep! You’ll regret that decision!” Each time I cradled her to sleep, a nagging worry crept in about the future regrets I would face. I researched various sleep techniques, attempting to follow the guidance of putting her down “drowsy, but awake.” Sometimes it worked; often it didn’t. There were times when I simply rocked her. Ultimately, does it really matter in the grand scheme?
Now, my 3½-year-old sometimes slips into our bed for midnight cuddles. Did my rocking contribute to that? Perhaps. Do I regret it? Not at all. Do I feel the need to hide when I rock my second daughter to sleep? Absolutely not. Am I concerned she might also seek nighttime snuggles at 3? I genuinely hope so.
I have two daughters in this lifetime. If they wish to share even a moment more snuggling with their mother, I embrace it wholeheartedly. My soul is ready. Count me in.
This article was originally published on Dec. 19, 2015.
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Summary:
Navigating the overwhelming world of parenting advice can be daunting, especially for new parents. However, the experience often shifts once a second child arrives, allowing for a more confident approach to parenting. Embracing moments of closeness, like rocking a baby to sleep, can be fulfilling and soul-nourishing. Ultimately, every parent must find what works best for their unique situation, prioritizing connection over conventional advice.
Keyphrase: parenting advice transformation
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