Updated: Dec. 3, 2023
Originally Published: Dec. 2, 2015
During a recent summer outing, I found myself in a park, feeding my daughter in the picnic area. As I observed my partner pushing our son on the swings, I noticed a young mother at a nearby table. She was tending to a baby around my daughter’s age while an older woman, presumably her mother, cared for a little boy similar in age to my son.
As I quietly watched, I overheard the young mother express her frustration as her baby began to fuss. “What do I do?” she asked, her voice tinged with exhaustion. Her mother promptly scooped up the baby, encouraging her daughter to take her son to the playground. Seeing the relief wash over the young woman’s face, I felt a pang of longing. I wished I had someone to offer that kind of support. My own mother had passed away several years prior, leaving a void in my parenting experience.
I often reflect on what my mother would have cherished about my children. She never got to meet her grandson. After a year in hospice, she passed away when my son was just six weeks old. My mother adored all her nephews, and I know she would have been overjoyed to have a grandson. Although I brought my son to visit her once towards the end of her life, I’m unsure if she truly remembered that moment.
I also think about how much she would have loved my daughter. With her grace and beauty, my little girl mirrors her grandmother in so many ways. My mother once described herself as someone who could “boss people around with a smile.” I can only imagine the joy they would share together.
Another wish of mine is that my mother could have provided nourishing meals when I welcomed my babies into the world. She had an incredible talent for cooking, able to recreate dishes she’d tasted without even needing a recipe. I can picture her bringing over lovingly prepared meals, excited to feed her new grandchild.
In moments of panic about parenting, I longed to call my mother for reassurance. She would have calmed my fears and reminded me that everything would turn out alright. Instead, I found myself relying on the internet, friends, and various parenting books.
There were days filled with self-doubt when I craved her comforting presence. She had a unique understanding of me that no one else could replicate. I wish my children had the chance to experience that connection, someone to adore them unconditionally. My mother, an artist, would have reveled in my son’s budding creativity, guiding his hand as they drew together.
Most importantly, I wish I could articulate to my mother how much I respect her. I only truly understood her strength once I became a mother myself. Balancing two children while pursuing her master’s degree in clinical psychology, she dedicated her career to assisting some of society’s most challenging individuals.
For those of us who are mothers without mothers, this longing can feel like an unfillable void. However, each day, as I look into my children’s faces, I sense my mother’s spirit. I see her kindness reflected in my daughter’s smile and her fierce determination in my son’s eyes. I hope that wherever she is, she knows how proud I am to be her daughter.
If you’re interested in exploring more about parenting, consider checking out resources like ACOG’s guide on treating infertility, which offers helpful insights for those on this journey. Additionally, you might find our post about the Home Insemination Kit valuable for understanding self-insemination options. For those looking to enhance their chances of conception, the Fertility Booster for Men is a recommended product.
Summary:
Motherhood can be a challenging experience, especially for those who have lost their own mothers. The longing for that maternal support, understanding, and connection is profound. Each motherless mom navigates her journey, reflecting on the love and guidance she wishes to share with her children. Understanding this experience can foster connection and support in our parenting community.
Keyphrase: motherhood without a mother
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