As a woman in my early thirties who is visually impaired, I often attract attention in public spaces. The sight of someone my age with a white cane can be surprising to many. When my partner, Jake, and I discovered I was expecting just six months after I lost my sight, we were both taken aback. The prospect of becoming parents filled us with both excitement and anxiety. While we were confident in our ability to nurture and love a child, we recognized that the terms “disability” and “pregnancy” often don’t coexist in people’s minds.
As my pregnancy progressed, I transitioned from being a neighborhood curiosity to a spectacle. Many were astounded that a blind woman could be pregnant and aspire to raise a child. Amid the stress of my high-risk pregnancy, I found myself bombarded with intrusive and shocking questions, which only heightened my anxiety.
I didn’t want to feel ashamed of my pregnancy or my disability; I simply wished for people to share in our joy. However, genuine congratulations were rare, and unsolicited belly touches were even more frequent. During one of my routine ultrasound appointments, I broke down in tears discussing my feelings. My doctor listened patiently and handed me tissues as I vented. When I finished, he placed his hand on my shoulder and asked, “But why do you care what they think?” His words struck a chord deep within me, and I realized that if I was going to be a mother, I needed to develop a thicker skin. I refused to let negativity overshadow this joyous occasion.
Here’s how I now respond to common insensitive questions:
- Was this pregnancy planned?
While the intimate moments were planned, this baby was a delightful surprise! Family planning involves both my husband and me, and we were overjoyed to learn about our little one. No, we didn’t foresee this happening six months post-blindness, but we are excited nonetheless. Can’t you just celebrate with us? - You’re not keeping it?
If “it” refers to my baby, why on earth wouldn’t I? I’m a well-educated woman in a loving, stable relationship. With a strong support system, I’m more than capable of providing for this child. Many disabled individuals are fully capable and financially secure enough to raise children. Maybe you weren’t aware of that? - Where’s the father in all of this?
The father, Jake, has been my partner for over a decade. He shares my life and is thrilled about becoming a parent. Our relationship mirrors any other—you might be surprised to learn that disabled individuals can have meaningful partnerships. - I didn’t think disabled people were ‘allowed’ to have kids.
There’s no law requiring sterilization for those with disabilities. Yes, we engage in intimacy and reproduce, just like everyone else. Many individuals with disabilities consciously choose to have children daily. “People like me” don’t need permission from “people like you” to start families. - But how will you _________?
How will I change the baby? Feed it? Get to appointments? Yes, I’ve considered all these challenges and, trust me, they keep me up at night. But here’s a reality check: what new parent isn’t concerned? I have nine months to devise a plan, connect with resources, and adapt to my baby’s evolving needs. Since you’re not responsible for my child, you don’t need to worry about it. - Don’t you think having a disabled mother will be hard on your child?
Yes, it may present challenges, but every child faces difficulties in life. As a blind mother, I may not be the best soccer coach, and carpool duties are out of the question. However, my child will grow up learning resilience and empathy. They’ll understand that a disability doesn’t define a person or their capacity to love.
So, the next time you encounter a pregnant woman with a disability, refrain from making assumptions or interrogating her. Instead, offer genuine compliments or congratulations. Remember, the ability to love one’s child doesn’t require special accommodations, regardless of a woman’s physical abilities. For more information on pregnancy and resources surrounding home insemination, check out this excellent guide from WomensHealth.gov.
If you’re interested in family planning options, you might explore the at-home insemination kit or consider the comprehensive 18-piece at-home insemination kit available for those looking to start their journey to parenthood.
Summary:
This article discusses the experiences of a visually impaired pregnant woman, addressing the insensitive questions and assumptions she encounters. It emphasizes the importance of understanding and empathy, urging others to celebrate rather than question the abilities of disabled parents.
Keyphrase: Disabled pregnant woman handling insensitive questions
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]