Attempting to Capture Time

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Parenting
Attempting to Capture Time
by Jessica Linton
Updated: Aug. 26, 2023
Originally Published: Oct. 24, 2015

In a household bustling with five children, chaos is the norm. We’re often scrambling to fit everyone into the same space, urging them to sit down, get to where they need to be, or simply be quiet for a fleeting moment. You might think that having one less child around would provide some relief. If someone takes the youngest off my hands for a day, I can’t deny it lightens my load just a bit. Yet, there’s a bittersweet twist: my 14-year-old, Emma, is beginning to explore the world beyond our home, and suddenly, she’s out more than she’s in.

We’re entering a new chapter in our lives, where one event seamlessly leads to another. We pick her up from theater rehearsal, only to drop her off at a friend’s place. She hops from the mall to a movie and then to a sleepover. Sometimes, she even juggles babysitting gigs to fund her shopping trips. When she is home, her room becomes her sanctuary. Hours can pass with her tucked away, surfacing only when hunger calls. It doesn’t matter why she’s gone; it simply means our home often feels like an “Emma-free zone,” and the truth is, I already miss her.

The next four years feel like they’re about to speed by, and I find myself wanting to hit the brakes. I can see in her eyes that there’s no going back. Soon enough, she’ll be just a summer guest rather than a constant presence at our family table. How do I brace myself for that? Just thinking about it fills me with a sense of loss.

Compounding this is the fact that as she spends more time away, she’s also becoming increasingly enjoyable to be with. Emma is blossoming into an extraordinary young woman, sharing her insights and even offering me fashion advice that I sometimes consider. She’s a valuable member of our household (well, most of the time—she is still 14, after all). She understands my humor and can even connect with her dad over music, much to my chagrin. Their conversations often leave me feeling a bit teary-eyed, not because she’s gone, but because I already feel her absence.

Tonight, as I sit in the stillness of our home, I grasp how fleeting this time truly is. This remarkable girl who made us parents won’t always be under our roof. I still recall the moment she was born, and my mother exclaimed, “Don’t you just LOVE her?” Yes, a thousand times yes! That moment changed everything for me, and I wish it would remain unchanged. I thought that having a crowd of kids would cushion the blow of one eventually leaving, but it’s become clear that’s not how it works. While she sleeps soundly in her bed, I can’t shake the feeling that I miss her already.

For now, I’m choosing to savor every moment and to be fully present in our time together, hoping to stretch it out just a bit longer. I vow to do the same for all my children as they embark on their journeys into the world. I aim to create lasting memories, just as my parents did, by carving out family time—even if it prompts a few eye rolls (which I’m sure are more for show—who wouldn’t want to hang out with us?). I cherish the days when we spent time together, playing games or dining out, and I want to create that same atmosphere for my own family. If Emma wonders why I’m holding her close, saying no a bit more, and giving her a few extra hugs, I’ll gently remind her that it’s simply because I miss her already.

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In summary, this article reflects on the bittersweet nature of watching a child grow and evolve, emphasizing the importance of cherishing the present and creating lasting memories as they prepare to step into the world.

Keyphrase: Cherishing time with children
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