Before stepping into motherhood, I was led to believe by the Blissfully Unaware Group of Nursing Moms that breastfeeding was a walk in the park. The myth included ideas like: it’s effortless, pain-free, and that babies would always be compliant. I imagined nursing while gracefully balancing a toddler, cooking dinner, and typing a blog post—all while performing a flawless pirouette.
Now, as a proud member of the “You’ve Got This, Mama” club, I can tell you that breastfeeding isn’t always without its challenges. Our nighttime routine has certainly strayed far from my initial vision. In the wee hours, there’s no bottle to fill or milk to warm, so I thought nighttime feeds would be simple and picturesque. Picture this: me, waking up looking fabulous, smiling serenely at my cooing baby, effortlessly lifting him from his crib, nursing quietly while snuggled in bed, and placing him back when he drifts off to Dreamland. Instead, I find myself in a very different reality.
If you’re navigating a similar situation, especially with a reflux baby, here’s a practical 21-step nighttime nursing guide that might just resonate with you:
- Wake up to soft cooing and grunting. Leap from bed before the noises escalate into frantic wails.
- Stumble to the rocking chair, avoiding any light that could awaken the baby. Secure your Boppy pillow and gather burp cloths and wipes nearby.
- Politely ask your partner to fetch you a glass of water, because nursing makes you thirstier than a desert wanderer.
- Bring the baby to breast.
- He’ll nurse peacefully for a few minutes before becoming fidgety. Observe his back-arching and rapid breathing. Assess the situation: Is he still hungry? Did he swallow too much air? Is he rooting? Yes, he must be hungry!
- Offer the breast again.
- Oops! When baby unexpectedly spits up, realize he needs a burp. Attempt to sit him upright while milk escapes from his nose, soaking you in the process. Grab a burp cloth for both of you.
- Pat his back vigorously until one of your shoulders is drenched in spit-up. Assume you’ve solved the issue.
- Still in darkness, jolt to the changing table since his pajamas are now soaked. Unsnap them and discover his diaper is full.
- As you swap the diaper, wonder what’s spraying you in the face. Ah, yes—pee!
- Flick on the light.
- Fasten the diaper tabs and give the area a quick wipe down with baby wipes.
- Dress the baby in fresh pajamas.
- Place him back in his bassinet, only to realize your mistake—he’s now wide awake.
- Ignore this fact for just 15 minutes. Crawl back into bed, defeated and smelling of curdled milk.
- Listen for sputters. Panic as you hear him choking on vomit and frantically wipe away the mess pooling beneath his neck.
- Lie back down.
- For 15 minutes, if you can. Awaken to more grunting; it seems hunger has struck again.
- Offer the breast once more, repeating the previous steps as needed.
- Ultimately, decide to let the baby sleep in a saggy diaper with dried milk on his face.
- Convince yourself it’s alright because it’s just for tonight. Tomorrow, at 3 a.m., you’ll wake up looking fabulous.
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Summary:
Navigating the challenges of nursing a reflux baby can feel overwhelming. This 21-step guide offers practical tips for managing nighttime feeds, from addressing the baby’s needs to dealing with unexpected surprises. It’s a humorous yet relatable look at the reality of motherhood.
Keyphrase: Nursing a reflux baby
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