“What’s the age gap between your kids?” asks a stylish brunette as we watch our daughters in their tutus tap-dancing.
“Five years,” I respond, bracing for her typical reaction.
“Did you plan it that way?” she inquires, catching me off guard. I’m not accustomed to such a deep dive into my family planning.
“Well, I experienced two pregnancy losses in between,” I reply, surprising even myself with my candidness. I’ve grown weary of glossing over the truth about my journey to motherhood. I do, however, omit the details about my divorce and remarriage that contributed to the timeline of my family.
She quickly regains her composure, attempting to mask her surprise. If you’re going to inquire about someone’s family planning, you better be prepared for an honest answer—even if it’s a bit uncomfortable.
Truth be told, I never intended for my children to be five years apart. Growing up, I imagined having two or three kids close in age, ideally wrapping up my baby-making by 30. But life had other plans—real life, with its messy complications that involve separation, divorce, tracking ovulation, and the heartache of empty ultrasounds.
Yet, despite the unexpected path, there are undeniable perks to having kids with a five-year gap. For instance, when I was on maternity leave with my youngest, my oldest was in kindergarten all day. It felt almost like a second first baby experience, minus the overwhelming anxiety. Some days, it resembled a vacation—albeit one where I was lounging in pajamas, nursing a baby, and binge-watching my favorite shows. Who wouldn’t want to sign up for that again?
Having kids five years apart means navigating the tricky world of puberty with one child while simultaneously helping the other conquer potty training. It means enduring the cacophony of Kidz Bop blaring from upstairs while The Wiggles serenade from downstairs, all the while wishing you could just crank up the 1980s Pandora station already.
It involves guiding one child through the awkward years of fashion choices while reassuring the other that mommies and daddies always return to pick up their preschoolers. It’s about comforting both when they’re crying for vastly different reasons.
With a five-year age gap, you get equal portions of Daniel Tiger and Austin & Ally, with not nearly enough Grey’s Anatomy or Scandal to satisfy your adult cravings. It’s a delightful surprise when your kids discover a shared interest in a TV show, like Transformers: Rescue Bots—who would have thought?
Weekend cleanup turns into an adventure of vacuuming goldfish crumbs while your oldest sobs in her room over the “injustice” of putting her laundry away. It’s hours spent helping with homework and piano practice while pretending to listen to your youngest’s elaborate tales of being a unicorn, a coyote, a horse—and of course, a robot.
Trips to Disneyland become magical experiences you never anticipated. Sure, you expected your little one to be ecstatic over Doc McStuffins, but you never foresaw your nine-year-old shouting, “I love you, Ariel!” during the parade.
Having kids five years apart is a constant source of amazement as you witness their genuine enjoyment of each other’s company. Whatever Jungle Kids is, it seems to be the game of choice that unites them. It’s a daily marvel to see how much they truly love each other.
This experience is a blend of humbling gratitude, teeth-gritting frustration, and pure joy. It’s not how I envisioned things unfolding, but I wouldn’t change a thing.
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Summary
Having kids with a five-year gap presents unique challenges and joys, from navigating different developmental stages to sharing cherished moments together. This experience, while unplanned, is filled with gratitude and delight.
Keyphrase: kids five years apart
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