Updated: Dec. 20, 2015
Originally Published: Aug. 16, 2015
My optimism often leads me astray, especially when I overestimate my kids’ ability to remain quiet for a 45-minute call during those chaotic summer days. With school out and early-release days aplenty, it’s usually a recipe for disaster. No matter how serene the house seems, the moment I dial in for a work call, chaos reigns supreme. Whether my son decides to channel his inner chef by making a grilled cheese that sets off the smoke alarm, or my daughter performs an award-winning rendition of a shark attack due to a hangnail, I find myself seeking refuge in some rather unusual locations.
1. The Closet
When all else fails, I retreat to my closet. With three locked doors between me and my children, I can usually find a moment of peace. If things get really out of hand, hiding behind my winter coats offers an extra layer of soundproofing—though I never thought I’d become a closet-dweller during work hours.
2. The Backyard
Sometimes, the closet feels like a trek too far. When the ruckus from the kids escalates, I make a beeline for the backyard. I wander out until the sounds of my son’s friends playing hide-and-seek fade into the distance. Yes, I’ve received puzzled looks from neighbors as I pace through the woods behind their houses, phone in hand. One memorable moment involved standing outside in 20-degree weather, sans coat or shoes, while presenting at a teleseminar. My dogs, meanwhile, were on high alert, barking at nonexistent intruders on the porch—a true multitasking experience!
3. The Theme Park/Children’s Museum/Zoo
This goes against my intention of spending quality time with my kids, but somehow, every time I take a day off, the world seems to explode. We find a “quiet” corner, pull out the gadgets, and I promise myself it’ll be quick. Just when I’m about to start, the loudspeaker announces, “Polar bear feeding in five minutes!”—a sure way to ruin my focus.
4. The Car
There are two scenarios here. One, I’m driving, and a crucial call comes in. I yell the code words “work call,” and miraculously, the kids fall silent—usually. I leave the call feeling like a supermom with my well-trained little ones. The other version, however, backfires. I’m parked and alone, thinking it’s a safe space for a call. But then my son jumps in, loudly declaring he has diarrhea, becoming the unexpected comic relief for my colleagues on the line. I’m still convinced they have no idea who the source of the hilarity was.
5. The Playground Woods
At a fifth-grade graduation picnic, I found myself sneaking off for a last-minute call with a potential client I’d been pursuing for ages. As I stepped onto a paved path, I spotted a snake. Yes, it was harmless and shorter than my arm, but my aversion to snakes is strong. I let out a squeal, prompting the client to ask if I was alright. I quickly blamed it on static and completed the call while precariously perched on a bench, keeping an eye out for any snake friends that might join the fun. In the end, I scored the client—1 for me and 0 for the snake!
In the whirlwind of parenting, these unconventional call spots have become my norm. If you’re navigating similar challenges, you might also find value in exploring resources on fertility and home insemination, such as this guide to fertility supplements and intracervical insemination kits. For those considering pregnancy options, Hopkins Medicine’s IVF resources are invaluable.
Summary:
In the midst of juggling work and parenting, I’ve found myself taking conference calls in some rather unexpected places—from the closet to the backyard, and even in the middle of a busy theme park. Each scenario brings its own challenges, often resulting in humorous outcomes that leave me shaking my head. Yet, these experiences are a testament to the balancing act of motherhood and work-life, reminding us all of the unpredictable nature of family life.
Keyphrase: work conference calls in unusual places
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]