Women have an incredible ability to juggle numerous roles, and we wear each of our hats with flair. When my twins arrived three years ago, I became “mom,” a title that quickly became my favorite and, let’s be honest, the one that’s hard to take off.
For a long time, my life revolved entirely around my boys. I had friends, sure, but they existed mainly through texts and social media. Responding to messages often slipped through the cracks of my busy days. My weeks as a stay-at-home mom consisted of church activities, women’s Bible study, and outings to the zoo or library with my boys. It felt like I was perpetually in their orbit—because I was.
I loved every moment. They were my world, and I was theirs. Yet, everything changed when I returned to a full-time job, and suddenly, I found myself wrestling with heavy guilt that felt like a thick blanket I couldn’t shake off. I went from being their constant companion to being apart from them for 45 hours each week. It felt as if I was abandoning them, leaving them to navigate life without my love.
The emotional weight was compounded by the financial burden of childcare. Paying for someone else to care for my children while I worked felt like a cruel twist of fate. I couldn’t bear the thought of shelling out money for “me time” when my heart was tethered to my boys. Thus, I limited my outings to work and church, striving to be fully present for my children whenever I was home—a daunting task that often left me snappy and resentful.
As my boys have grown and I’ve adjusted to balancing single working motherhood, I’ve come to realize the vital importance of carving out a space for my own identity outside of being “mom.” Many have told me, “You need to have some time for yourself,” and while that sounded lovely in theory, it often felt impractical. However, I’m learning just how essential it is.
This resonates with every parent—whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, a working dad, or anywhere in between. We all need a break to recharge. Just like a bank account, if we continually withdraw without making deposits, we’ll eventually hit zero.
Remember the saying, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”? It’s true. We have to nurture ourselves outside of our parenting duties. Before we embraced parenthood, we were individuals with our own interests, friendships, and lives. We wore outfits that didn’t involve yoga pants, and we enjoyed adult conversations.
While I cherish every moment with my boys, I’ve discovered that I’m a more engaged and joyful mom when I take the time to reconnect with myself. “Mom” is an incredible title, but I am also Sarah—and I need to honor that part of me too.
My journey of motherhood has helped reignite my sense of self. My boys have been my sanctuary, especially during tough times, but these toddler years have reminded me that I need to seek out other sanctuaries as well. It’s easy to lose ourselves in parenting, which can strain relationships and lead to feelings of isolation. Our kids need us to be whole individuals, not just their caregivers.
If you’re interested in exploring options for starting a family, check out the Cryobaby at Home Insemination Kit, or for more resources, visit Womens Health. You can also learn about BabyMaker at Home Insemination Kit for more information.
Summary:
Parenthood is a rewarding journey, but it’s crucial to maintain your identity beyond being “mom” or “dad.” By prioritizing self-care and nurturing your individual interests, you can become a happier and more fulfilled parent. It’s a balance that benefits both you and your children, allowing you to give your best selves to your family.
Keyphrase: Reclaiming Your Identity in Parenthood
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