I admit it: there are moments when I feel like hitting my kids. The urge to throw things at them or even kick them arises, but it’s not a constant feeling. It usually strikes when I’ve exhausted all my patience and they’re acting like selfish, defiant little creatures.
Despite this, I have great kids and a fulfilling life. Our family enjoys our city, our wonderful neighbors, and the schools we attend. As a stay-at-home parent who writes on the side, I find joy in both the big picture and the small moments. My 6- and 3-year-olds are amazing: they’re curious, enthusiastic, and generally well-behaved. I’m incredibly proud of them.
Yet, there are times I just want to give them a good smack.
Everyday Challenges
Take the time when my daughter comes home from school, full of sass, refusing to take off her sandals. “I don’t care about your carpets,” she declares, her little face scrunched in defiance. I calmly remind her, “In the door, shoes off the floor.” Then, when she tells her little brother, “I got a chocolate muffin because of Lucy’s birthday, and I didn’t save any for you,” I reiterate, “We don’t say things just to hurt people’s feelings in this family.” And when she yanks a toy from the baby’s hands, I tell her she can be grumpy but needs to go to her room until she’s ready to follow our rules. But when she looks me in the eye, shouts, “No! I won’t go!” and runs away laughing, oh boy, the urge to punch something is nearly overwhelming.
As a lifelong pacifist and former teacher, I despise violence and love children. Yet, there are those moments when I want to lash out.
The Surprises of Parenthood
Parenthood is filled with surprises. I never anticipated that my friends and I would face miscarriages or that I would feel like my energy for my kids came at a personal cost. I often find myself suppressing the urge to say “be careful,” “that’s too messy,” or “hurry up.” In moments of exhaustion, I feel the pull to do something I know is wrong.
Telling myself “Don’t shake the baby” seems simple, right? But in those chaotic moments when the baby won’t stop crying, the temptation to act out can be intense. I want the noise to stop, but I have to remind myself that the baby’s safety is what truly matters.
Even with my older kids, despite knowing that hitting would only escalate the situation, that primal urge remains. It’s instinctive, like flinching when a ball is thrown at your face. It takes training to resist that impulse, but unfortunately, there’s no official guide for parents on how to handle these feelings.
Finding Healthy Outlets
Most of us navigate this journey on our own, finding ways to manage our frustrations without taking them out on our children. We might kick a toy or slam a door, releasing some built-up energy. We all know that child abuse is utterly unacceptable, and we must exert every ounce of self-control to avoid it. Before becoming a parent, I couldn’t fathom how it could happen, but now I understand the struggle. I don’t hit my kids, but I can relate to the feelings that lead to that dark place.
Just remember: don’t ever act on those feelings. It sounds easy, but it’s a monumental challenge.
Additional Resources
For more insights related to parenting and managing stress, check out our other blog post on home insemination kits. And if you’re looking for a fertility booster, this resource is highly recommended. Lastly, for comprehensive information on pregnancy, Healthline is an excellent resource.
Conclusion
In summary, parenting can be incredibly challenging, and it’s normal to feel frustrated at times. The key is to recognize those feelings and find constructive ways to cope without resorting to violence.
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