- Begin by sifting through one of those overflowing laundry baskets.
- Create clothing stacks for each family member.
- Observe your toddler as they hilariously dons the empty basket like a helmet, sprinting through the living room pretending to be a ghost.
- Attempt to recover the laundry basket from your toddler without triggering a meltdown.
- Wait patiently for the toddler’s tears to subside.
- Employ some bribery if necessary.
- Gather all the dirty laundry and toss it into the basket.
- Be amazed at the unexpected places you discover pairs of children’s underwear.
- Return to find the baby has scattered the carefully arranged piles all over the floor.
- Watch as your toddler cheerfully puts underwear on their head like a hat.
- Wince as your toddler finds another “hat” for the baby.
- Say a silent prayer that both pairs are clean.
- Resolve to “accidentally” discard the truly dirty clothes next time.
- Transition to cleaning the floors.
- Clear a section of carpet to make room for the vacuum.
- Maintain your composure as your toddler insists on playing with every single toy you try to stow away.
- Offer another bribe.
- Power on the vacuum.
- Brace yourself for the toddler’s screams.
- Shout at the dogs for barking too loudly.
- Comfort the baby.
- Give up on vacuuming for the moment.
- Shift your focus to the kitchen.
- Start loading the dirty dishes into the dishwasher.
- Notice the baby trying to climb into the dishwasher.
- Move the baby to safety.
- Explain to your toddler that the dishwasher is not a toy.
- Watch as the baby picks up a mysterious item from the kitchen floor.
- Clarify to your toddler that the dishwasher isn’t a ride either.
- Snatch the mystery item away from the baby before it ends up in their mouth.
- Decide it’s best to clean the kitchen floor instead.
- Tell your toddler that while you appreciate their eagerness to help, this will be much quicker if you go solo.
- Wait for the inevitable toddler tantrum to pass.
- Spend 30 minutes demonstrating how to hold the broom properly.
- Dedicate another 30 minutes teaching them to use the broom and dustpan.
- Sweep the kitchen at a glacial pace with your toddler’s assistance.
- Praise your little helper for their efforts.
- Watch in dismay as your toddler excitedly waves the dustpan, spilling its contents back onto the floor.
- Place a towel over the remaining mess and call it a day.
- Shift gears to opening a bottle of wine.
This article humorously captures the chaos of cleaning with kids, ensuring that you understand that perfection is not the goal. For those seeking to expand their family, check out this post on boosting fertility supplements. If you’re exploring options for home insemination, refer to this comprehensive guide from ACOG for valuable insights into treating infertility. You can also find a great resource for your at-home needs with this 18-piece insemination kit.
Summary
Cleaning your house with kids can be an amusing yet challenging endeavor, filled with distractions and unexpected moments. Embrace the chaos, and remember that sometimes it’s okay to call it a day and pour a glass of wine instead.
Keyphrase: cleaning with kids
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