At 38, I’ve finally discovered my tribe. You might think I would have had this figured out back in high school, but that wasn’t the case. During those years, I was still trying to understand who I was, let alone who I wanted to be around. I often felt like a sidekick, the “and” in “you should invite me to your party, and she can tag along, I suppose.” While others assured me that wasn’t true, that’s how I perceived myself in every social situation.
In college, I became friends with my eclectic roommate, who blasted Tori Amos and occasionally chopped her hair off during emotional lows. She wasn’t my type, but her taste in music resonated with me. I dabbled with sorority life but couldn’t fathom paying for friendship when New Orleans offered so many other experiences. I spent time with stunning girls who didn’t see their own beauty, and while I loved them, I knew I didn’t quite belong. After graduation, I moved on.
My journey took me to Boston, where I met a remarkable woman who showed me that I didn’t have to diminish my intellect to attract men. She saved me from the wrong guys more times than I can count. However, when I relocated to Connecticut, our friendship struggled to adapt to the distance and her new family life.
It wasn’t until I embraced motherhood that I truly found my connection. While picking up my daughter from preschool, I encountered a fierce mama who was pregnant with her second child, relocating, and understandably stressed. She growled at me as she picked up her daughter and walked away, yet I felt an undeniable pull toward her.
Gradually, we began to exchange words at school pickups and birthday parties. Our witty banter turned into genuine laughter, and I knew I had found the friend I had been searching for. She had a unique style, a sharp wit, and the best B.S. detector I had ever encountered.
While many people have lifelong friends, my adult life, especially as a mother, has made my social interactions more valuable. Finding this friend has helped me clarify the kind of women I want in my life—and the kind of woman I aspire to be. Since meeting my new friend, I’ve formed connections with strong, opinionated, and intelligent women, leading to a level of happiness I never experienced before.
It’s essential to note that no one is perfect, and Sara might not be everyone’s ideal friend. I’m an enthusiastic hugger, whereas she’s selective about physical affection. I’m open and welcoming, while she takes her time to assess friendships. Despite our differences, we complement each other beautifully. I know that when I forget juice for my kids at the park, she’ll have extras in her purse. Conversely, I can ease her stress with a glass of wine and some laughter when life gets overwhelming.
Most importantly, since forging this friendship, I’ve rediscovered myself. I’m fiercer than I ever thought possible, more confident in my career and parenting, and writing more than I ever have. Friendships from high school left me feeling insecure, while college friendships were perplexing, but it’s my mom friends who are getting me through the beautiful chaos of motherhood. Although this journey can be isolating, I’m grateful for my friend who always has a spare juice box or a glass of wine to share.
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Summary
At 38, I finally found my tribe after years of searching through different social circles. My friendship with Sara has transformed my life, helping me discover confidence in my identity as a mother and a professional. With her support, I’ve become the person I always wanted to be, navigating the complexities of motherhood together.
Keyphrase: Finding friendship in motherhood
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