Parenting
By Sophie T. Bennett
Updated: August 21, 2015
Originally Published: July 15, 2015
In just a decade, the notion of becoming a grandmother seems entirely plausible (and yes, I mean CONCEIVE-able). My eldest, fingers crossed, might be walking across the stage at graduation, stepping into adulthood, and perhaps even contemplating a serious relationship. And we all know what that often leads to—new little ones!
Biologically, my youngest could technically become a father right now, which means I could find myself as a surprised (and slightly overwhelmed) grandma in just nine months. (At this point, I’m doing a little spiritual dance to the reproductive deities, fervently wishing my son stays focused on his own pants for the next several years!) The thought of becoming a grandma in the near future fills me with a mix of excitement and trepidation for many reasons.
It’s been quite some time since I’ve had a baby or toddler around. I find myself questioning whether I still have the patience for it. When I’m shopping and hear the cries of little ones, my instinct often leans towards annoyance rather than maternal empathy. My inner monologue echoes, “Been there, done that. Not again,” as I stroll past with my hot latte, reveling in the bliss of kid-free shopping. As my own children grow more independent and less needy, I wonder if I can handle another round of babyhood, even if it’s with my grandchild. Could the experience be different since they won’t be mine? As many grandparents say, will I just get to enjoy the best parts?
Recently, I had the joyful opportunity to look after my sister’s 18-month-old daughter for a few days. I was worried about how I would fill the long hours. My last experience of having a child at home from dawn till dusk involved counting the minutes until nap and bedtime. This time, however, was a delightful surprise. Here’s why I believe I’ll thrive as a grandma:
- I let the dishes pile up. Suddenly, the messes, overflowing laundry, and toothpaste smudges didn’t matter. The moment that little girl beamed at me, all my worries about housework faded away. I felt a wave of liberation, and strangely, a hint of guilt for not enjoying those moments with my boys when they were little. I wished I could have let go of the pressure of a tidy house and just savored the chaos for a day.
- I embraced being a “yes” mom. Not to everything, of course, but certainly much more than I did when my youngest was that age. Yes, you can pull out all the pots and pans and bang on them. Yes, ice cream before lunch is fine. Yes, let’s try on all my shoes and model them. Yes, to the tea set, the doll, and even those sparkly shoes! I realized I could skip stressing over every little thing, seeing the bigger picture.
- I took a nap when she napped. Instead of racing around with a mile-long to-do list, I lay next to that sweet girl and let sleep take over. I let go of the idea that I had to be productive every second. And you know what? The world kept turning. When I woke up, all my tasks were still there, but I felt refreshed and not overwhelmed.
- The days flew by, and I was astonished at how relaxed I felt. We sang, laughed, took selfies, and played together. My approach to those days shifted, likely due to the understanding of how fleeting childhood is. Maybe it was simply because I was getting the best of her. My own mother often tells me glowing stories about how well-behaved my kids are when they’re with her. I used to wonder why their behavior differed so much with her compared to me. I think I finally understand—it’s her perspective that makes all the difference.
While I’m not quite in the grandparenting mindset yet, I know I’ll get there. When the clock struck six and my niece was ready to go home, I felt a fulfilling exhaustion, not from the weight of the responsibilities of mothering but from the joy of sharing my time with a little one.
Among the myriad of parenting books out there, it’s interesting to note the absence of grandparenting guides. Perhaps it’s because by then, we’ll inherently know how to do it right. I’m confident that when the time comes, I will be ready to embrace this new role and cherish every moment. Don’t you think?
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Summary:
As I consider the prospect of becoming a grandmother, I reflect on my time spent with my niece’s child. The experience reminded me that the pressure of parenting can be lifted when you focus on joy rather than chores. The freedom to say “yes” and to rest when needed is part of what will make me a loving and engaged grandma. I look forward to embracing this new chapter with enthusiasm and a fresh perspective.
Keyphrase: Becoming a grandmother
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