Parenting
Dear New Parents,
Hey there! How are you holding up? Feeling a bit worn out? Maybe a tad less energetic these days, thanks to those 2 a.m. feedings or trying to keep pace with a toddler intent on turning your hair gray—by licking outlets, throwing themselves down stairs, and refusing to touch anything healthy?
You might be feeling a bit swamped. Out of your depth. Like mastering this parenting gig is a pipe dream, and the guilt is creeping in with a growing number of “What on earth am I doing?” moments.
How can this happen? You aced calculus, you run a thriving business, and you might even be a whiz at driving a stick shift. And yet, there’s that nagging feeling that if a parenting pop quiz were to happen tomorrow, you’d barely scrape a C+. Maybe a B- if you caffeinate yourself with a Trenta cold brew and a Red Bull.
It seems like every other parent has it all figured out. They seem to know what they’re doing and—dare I say it—are even better at this parenting thing than you.
Let me save you the stress of wondering: They are better.
Yes, other parents are superior. They excel in disciplining, motivating, and keeping their kids safe. Their children will have more friends, lead more fulfilling lives, and likely never need therapy. Their kids are destined to thrive—all thanks to the fact that other parents are far better than you could ever aspire to be.
I learned this truth the hard way, far too late to help my own kids. It took me 16 years of diving into parenting forums, reading books, articles, blogs, and even downloading the “Why Other Parents Are Better Than You” app to fully grasp just how I’d never measure up.
It’s been disheartening. But what stings even more is the lengthy period it took for me to come to terms with the reality that, well, I’m somewhat lacking—at least compared to other parents.
So, to save you time and effort on discovering all the ways you could improve (but probably won’t), here’s a comprehensive list of all the parents who are undoubtedly better than I am—arranged haphazardly.
- Strict parents
- Chill parents
- Urban parents giving their kids cultural advantages and street smarts
- Suburban parents with spacious backyards and top-notch schools
- Rural parents whose kids learn responsibility through farm work
- Parents who vaccinate
- Parents who opt out of vaccinations
- Parents with spotless homes who carry hand sanitizer
- Parents who encourage germ exposure to boost immunity
- Breastfeeding advocates
- Bottle-feeding enthusiasts
- Faith-driven parents
- Atheist parents
- Uncertain parents regarding divine assistance in parenting
- Conservative parents
- Liberal parents
- Anarchist parents
- Thought leaders like Noam Chomsky
- Free-range advocates
- Leash parents
- Organic-food parents
- Tech-savvy parents
- Unplugged parents
- Parents who set stricter cell phone age limits
- Authoritarian parents
- Authoritative parents
- Positively inclined parents
- Permissive parents
- Mary Poppins types
- Parenting experts like Dr. Sears
- Dr. Brazelton
- Laura
- James Dobson
- “I Love Ezzo” supporters
- “I Hate Ezzo” detractors
- Younger parents
- Older parents
- Parents with only one child
- Parents with two children
- Parents with many kids
- The Cosby family
- The Brady Bunch
- The Waltons
- The Duggars (but Jessa might still be better than you)
- Dad Kramer, but not Mom Kramer
- Parents who comfort crying children
- Parents who let kids cry it out
- Co-sleeping parents
- Non co-sleeping parents
- Parents who spank
- Parents who don’t spank
- Parents who send kids to public schools
- Parents who choose private schooling
- Homeschooling advocates
- Parents who had vaginal births
- Those who had home births with assistance
- Parents who had unassisted home births
- Parents who had home births in exotic locations
- Parents who opted for C-sections for aesthetic reasons
- Dads who can’t give birth vaginally
- Soon-to-be parents who will sidestep all your mistakes
- Hollywood icons like Sarah and Jamie
- Straight parents
- Same-sex parents
- Married couples
- Single parents
- Influencers like Caitlyn Jenner
- Parents with high school diplomas
- Parents with college degrees
- Parents with advanced degrees
- Parents with no formal education
- Parents who read parenting literature
- Tiger Moms
- French Mères
- Ikea moms
- Russian coaching figures
- Your mother-in-law
- Mother Teresa
- Martha Stewart
- Pinterest-perfect moms
- Parents who share their parenting journey online
- Parents who don’t document their lives on social media
- Parents who keep meticulous baby books
- Parents too busy to update baby books
- Uber Moms
- Good Enough Moms
- Slow Parenting Moms
- Slacker Moms
- Parents who prioritize self-care
- Parents who engage in play
- Parents who educate through play
- Parents who teach practical skills
- Stay-at-home parents
- Work-from-home parents
- Parents with jobs outside the home
- Parents at home but working remotely
- Parents who let their kids drink from the hose
- Parents who allow fast food treats
- Parents who let their chickens roam freely
- Parents who pay their chickens an allowance
- Chicken parents
- Parents of Chuck Norris
- My Mom
I may have overlooked a few. I’m not exactly the best at crafting definitive lists on parenting. But surely, this should convince you that you’ll never quite measure up either.
So, just keep doing your thing. Unless you’re a total jerk across several aspects of parenting, your imperfect style will likely suffice for your equally imperfect child. Even amidst the chaos, you know more than you realize—maybe. Yet, you’ll never reach the heights of parenting greatness like Dr. Spock.
For more insights, check out our post on home insemination kits for helpful tips on starting your journey. And for in-depth information, Healthline provides excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
In a lighthearted yet honest tone, this article humorously lists various types of parents who seemingly excel in their parenting roles compared to the reader. It emphasizes the common feelings of inadequacy shared by many new parents, while also encouraging acceptance of one’s own parenting style.
Keyphrase: Parenting comparisons
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