Dear Future Son,
So, the other day I decided to share some life lessons with your potential sister, just a few nuggets of wisdom I’ve gathered over time. Then, a bunch of people asked, “When are you doing the same for your future son?” I laughed it off at first, but it hit me—I’ve never really thought about having a son. If that day ever comes, we both might need some guidance. So here’s my initial attempt to help you navigate through this wild ride called life!
With love,
Mom
First things first
Please love me. I promise I’m doing my best, even when it doesn’t seem like it. And, I’m sorry I never got you a dog. The closest we’ve come to athleticism is my tee-ball strikes. Maybe you should consider picking up a musical instrument? Drummers can sit down while they work, and, trust me, girls dig that!
I’m keeping my fingers crossed that your math skills will surpass mine. If not, there’s always an app for that! Speaking of tech, I will never fully grasp Star Wars, but I want to try. Just know that my understanding may always be limited.
Life Experiences
I can’t wait to take you to your first concert—just like my parents did for me with Neil Diamond. Embrace your emotions; they’re meant to be felt and shared. And remember: guys who can cry? Super attractive. Be that guy!
And while we’re on the topic of knowledge, learn your way around a vagina, but also accept that you won’t ever completely understand it. I mean, honestly, I hope you’re gay. If you love someone, don’t hold back—shout it from the rooftops! Love is unpredictable, so dive in when the time is right.
Personal Choices
Tattoos? Go for it! Just promise to call me when you get one—and maybe check in daily? I’m looking forward to our Thanksgiving together, year after year. Also, make sure to listen to Big Star, Velvet Underground, and early Springsteen—trust me on this.
If you ever blame a woman’s mood on her period, I’ll ensure you have your own monthly reminders. Scars tell stories; they’re beautiful, even the ones from mole removals. So get your skin checked regularly.
You’ll have friends I won’t like. That’s normal, but feel free to cut ties without explanation. If you can’t remember why you kept something, toss it! I promise you’ll figure out what’s important. Also, The Apartment is a cinematic masterpiece.
Communication and Mental Health
In our family, don’t reply to a call with a text. Make time for your mental health; you may need meds someday, and that’s okay. But hopefully, you’ll inherit my good hair and sense of humor—oh, and my humility.
Respect Beyoncé—she’s as much your mother as I am. Learn to dance, even if it’s just in your living room. Holding a door open for a woman is classy, as is walking closer to the curb when you’re with her. Manners are timeless.
Life Lessons
If something is worth fighting for, fight like hell. Find peace in silence, and know there’s beauty in the spaces between words. Master one fantastic dish that doesn’t involve a grill or microwave. Embrace whiskey and let fear motivate you.
Read The Things They Carried and face challenges head-on. Attend camp, college, and therapy. You can be honest while remaining kind. Learn to forgive; it’ll help you make it through tough times—just like making it past season 2 of Friday Night Lights. And yes, use a condom!
Take the time to clean your tub properly. When you love someone, know their middle name, birthday, and handwriting. Celebrate your friends, and let them celebrate you back. Figure out who makes you laugh the hardest, and hold onto them.
Final Thoughts
I might not be the best at relationship advice; maybe that’s why I’m sitting here in a Starbucks, contemplating life at 40, writing to you. Just remember, no one can read your mind, so speak up!
I’m thinking of you right now, and I love you. I can’t wait for the possibility of being your mom.
Additional Resources
For more insights on family planning, check out this resource. If you want to know more about intrauterine insemination, visit this excellent source.
And for those interested in home insemination options, you can explore this page.
Summary
This heartfelt letter is a collection of life lessons and advice for a son who may never exist. It touches on everything from emotional expression and the importance of music to navigating relationships and the value of kindness. The author encourages open communication, celebrates individuality, and emphasizes the significance of love and friendship.
Keyphrase: Advice for the Son I May Never Have
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]