In my 7.5 years of motherhood, I’ve racked up a list of less-than-proud moments. Like that time my son scattered cereal all over the gym floor during his sister’s basketball practice, and instead of cleaning it up, I just moved out of sight while he munched on the mess. Or all those times I cleverly convinced my daughter to give me a “hair salon” session, allowing me a few moments of blissful napping while she brushed my hair. And let’s not forget the epic fail when I tried to be the artsy mom who encouraged my kids to paint on the porch, only for them to turn our siding into their canvas.
But you know what? There are some things I’ve definitely avoided as a mom—none of these, for example:
- Ignored the sound of a baby waking up while I enjoyed a few extra minutes of sleep.
- Locked myself in the bathroom and cranked the fan to drown out the chaos.
- Witnessed one child trying to poke her sister’s eyes out and nearly succeeding.
- Forgotten to inform someone to pick the kids up from daycare.
- Balanced both kids on my lap during a bathroom break.
- Denied the kids ice cream before dinner while sneaking in a few bites myself.
- Grieved over my post-baby belly.
- Held a newborn and instead of cooing, thought, “Phew, glad that’s not me.”
- Let my kids run around in their undies simply because I lacked the energy to dress them.
- Walked through the door after work and felt a wave of relief at missing the day’s meltdowns.
- Allowed my child to pick out only the marshmallows from their cereal without a second thought.
- Woken up dreading the day ahead, hiding under the covers while shedding a tear of self-pity.
- Sat in the bathroom with my toddler for a 20-minute ordeal, contemplating a life devoid of constant clean-up.
- Faced the reality of four kids crying simultaneously and just turned my back because what else is there to do?
- Worn a forced smile when all I really wanted was to crawl back into bed.
- Scrolled through blogs by seemingly perfect moms who manage to rock bikinis post-birth while I dealt with a human piranha baby, questioning why I wasn’t married to “The Perfect Man” and lamenting that I’ve never hosted a dinner party. Ugh, crafts.
- Questioned whether balancing work and motherhood was even feasible.
- Felt a wave of guilt when my partner returned home, fighting back tears when he reassured me, “It’s alright, you’re doing fine.”
- Experienced “touched-out” syndrome by night’s end, flinching when my husband reached for me in bed.
- Turned up the volume in my car to drown out the sibling squabbles in the backseat.
- Felt inexplicably disgruntled without any clear reason.
- Daydreamed about living in a picturesque town like Stars Hollow with endless coffee on tap.
- Worried that when my kids become teens, I won’t be able to hide the fact that I’m winging it as a mom.
Have you never experienced any of these moments? Great! Neither have I.
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Summary
Motherhood can be overwhelming, and it’s common to have moments of doubt or embarrassment. While we often hear about the ideal parenting experience, it’s important to recognize that many mothers have faced similar challenges. Sharing these relatable experiences can bring comfort and solidarity.
Keyphrase: Things No Respectable Mother Would Do
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