As summer approached last year, I found a delightful surprise in my mailbox—a Victoria’s Secret swimwear catalog. I flipped through the pages with curiosity, wondering how I ended up on their list since I didn’t think they sold anything resembling my staple Hanes Her Way underwear.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve dreamt of donning a bikini. In my mind, I envisioned the perfect one: a bubblegum pink suit with playful ’70s strings adorning the sides. I imagined sun-kissed, toned legs and a long, lean torso that would showcase the suit flawlessly. But reality didn’t align with this fantasy; aside from a few fleeting moments in my past, I had never actually worn a bikini. I was always the type who believed that if you couldn’t do something perfectly, it was best not to do it at all—and I still carry a bit of that mindset.
Over the years, I hid behind swim dresses and cover-ups, even managing to go an entire summer without wearing a swimsuit twice. Truth be told, I could have worn one comfortably, but I just wasn’t ready to embrace that. My aversion to water, whether it was a pool or the ocean, made it easier to dodge the whole swimsuit scenario.
Then, on page 29 of that catalog, a pink and green string bikini caught my eye. I lingered there, feeling an unexpected stirring within me. I wanted that suit.
Could it be that, as I approached 45 and after giving birth to three children, I was actually going to give in to my long-held desire? Was this a midlife crisis, or could it be something more? I couldn’t deny that the logical side of me said no—it was unlikely I’d look like the model in the catalog. But the urge was too compelling. The thought of missing out on this fleeting opportunity was daunting.
Before I could second-guess myself, I ordered the bikini online. When it arrived, I was ecstatic—until the moment came to actually wear it in public. I kept telling myself, now or never, as I eyed my reliable floral swim dress. With a mix of excitement and fear, I slipped on the bikini, adding a cover-up I intended to keep on for safety.
But as I arrived at the beach and surveyed the variety of bodies around me, a wave of boldness washed over. I was a woman in her forties, tired of being shackled by a skewed self-image. I was done with shame.
While I didn’t throw off my cover-up and prance around singing “I’m Every Woman,” I did recline on my lounge chair, feeling a blend of pride, sexiness, and nervousness. On my next outing, I even stood up and walked toward the water.
By the end of that summer, I had embraced my bikini fully and even ordered a new one—this time in a vibrant blue.
If you’re a mom contemplating the same leap, know that it’s okay to embrace your body and feel confident in your skin at any age. And if you’re looking for resources on family planning, consider checking out this excellent guide on intrauterine insemination or explore options like the fertility booster for men from Make A Mom. You can even delve into the at-home insemination kit if you’re considering family expansion.
In summary, embracing your desires and challenging self-doubt can lead to newfound confidence, no matter your age or stage of life.
Keyphrase: Bikini Confidence for Moms
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