While the phrase “Not my department” is often associated with subpar customer service, it became an unfortunate staple in my household as well—until recently. With my partner, Mark, accepting a year-long position abroad, I suddenly found myself at the helm of a household that runs like a well-oiled machine, albeit one that requires my attention in every single area.
“Mom, can we play a video game together?”
“Sorry, that’s not my department.”
“Dad, can you help me locate my other sock?”
“Good luck with that—definitely not my department,” he would have replied if he were here.
Now, however, I’m tasked with managing all household operations. Instead of passing off tasks that don’t align with my skills, I’ve had to embrace them. Shoveling snow? Not my department—until now. Burying family pets? That’s a hard pass, but it’s a task that can’t be ignored. And frozen pipes? Well, welcome to my new responsibilities. Even dealing with rodents has become part of my job description.
Just last week, I faced an unexpected challenge when my son, Oliver, alerted me to a potential intruder: “I just saw something scurry under that door.” My instinct was to scream, but I channeled my inner calm. After all, this was my department now, and I couldn’t let panic take over.
We speculated it was a mouse, despite Oliver insisting he hadn’t seen a tail. Ironically, we had just lost our two pet rats, so one would think we’d have a soft spot for a small creature seeking warmth. Wrong again. “Kill it! Kill it!” Oliver shouted, perched on the counter to avoid any mouse encounters.
I quickly gathered everyone into the car for a trip to Home Depot—far outside my usual realm of expertise—to get some traps. I picked up a set of Tomcat snap traps, promised to be effective and reusable. However, I soon learned that a dab of poorly placed peanut butter could render a trap useless. I tucked that tidbit away, perhaps to mention in future family meetings when I would hand off my pest control duties.
Days passed with two traps set and no sign of our elusive visitor. I began to wonder if it had vacated to a more hospitable abode. But then, during a family visit, the mouse reappeared. I opened a cabinet to find rodent droppings mingling with our fine china. My heart sank. As I contemplated a quarantine for my dinnerware, I noticed movement—a box of coffee pods was shaking ominously.
Had I been alone, I would have donned every layer of gloves I owned and carefully maneuvered the box outside. But with family around, I realized I had an alternative. I decided to outsource the task. My sister, Clara, handled the box with finesse and quickly disposed of it in the yard. I thought we were in the clear until she reported seeing “something slip under the closet door” the next day.
With my reputation on the line, a return trip to Home Depot was necessary for more traps. I was becoming a reluctant expert in pest control, a skill set I never intended to have. When Clara and I returned home, chaos erupted. My mother’s husband and Oliver were yelling at the bookcase: “We caught it!” they exclaimed. The mouse had been cornered.
Instead of taking charge, I handed over the trap supplies and stepped back. For the first time in weeks, I felt relief wash over me. The project had transformed into a team effort, and I was grateful for the support.
We eventually discovered our “mouse” was actually a mole—defying all logic and research that claimed they avoid above-ground living. After relocating the little creature far from our home, we hoped it would stay away. But should more critters invade, I’ll have to tackle pest control solo again, at least temporarily. Because, let’s face it, it’s definitely not my department.
For more insights on family planning and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on IUI at Resolve. If you’re interested in a comprehensive home insemination kit, you can find one at MakeAMom or explore advanced options at MakeAMom’s 21-piece kit.
Summary:
The narrative follows Tessa, who takes on all household responsibilities after her husband leaves for a year. As she navigates challenges like pest control and household management, she learns the importance of teamwork and support from family, ultimately embracing her new role with humor.
Keyphrase: “household management”
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]