The other day, my daughter, Lily, managed to create a mini water park on our kitchen floor. My partner, half-joking, instructed her, “Lily, go grab a towel from the kitchen and clean that up.” Without hesitation, she followed through, wiping up the spill and returning the towel to its rightful spot.
My partner watched her with a mix of disbelief and admiration. At just 13 months old, Lily is one of our two children and the younger sister to her brother, Max. At the same age, Max might have found the towel, but he would have taken a detour to check out a toy truck, likely forgotten about the water mess, and perhaps even wandered off to play.
In essence, I’ve got a “typical” boy and a “typical” girl.
When Max was little and I was still awaiting Lily’s arrival, I bristled at the common stereotypes surrounding children based on their gender. I would roll my eyes at parents of girls who remarked, “Oh, he’s such a boy,” while I chased after Max at the park, watching their daughters enjoy a calm playtime. Wild behavior was always classified as boyish, while any positive traits were reserved for girls. It felt personal, as if being a boy was something to apologize for. “Boys and girls are the same,” I would insist, hoping it was true.
Then came Lily—a real baby, I jokingly said after having one of each. Looking back at Max’s early years, it was as if he was a turkey pulled from the oven just a tad too early. Everything seemed to come so naturally to Lily, while Max often resembled a toddler version of Mr. Magoo. He was a whirlwind of chaos, leaving trails of toys in his wake. In contrast, Lily emerged precise, strong, and organized, showcasing skills that would impress any heart surgeon. Meanwhile, Max could spend an eternity searching for his shoes only to realize they were on his feet the whole time.
While I recognize my experience is limited to two children, I can’t fathom why women aren’t running the world. Lily is special because she’s mine, but she’s not an outlier. Most mothers of young girls would attest that their daughters have the potential to lead nations someday. Yet, somewhere along the line, these assertive toddler girls start to fade into the background, becoming timid kids and giggly schoolgirls. Women often find ourselves needing to remind each other to “lean in,” despite being born with a natural inclination to lead.
I can’t help but wonder if I was as self-assured as Lily at her age. She embodies the version of me that existed before societal pressures started telling me to tone it down. Reflecting on my own journey to find confidence and comfort in my skin, I realize I was likely just as capable as little Lily is today.
We need to ensure our girls don’t lose their spark. Just as we should stop labeling boys’ behavior negatively, we owe it to our daughters to help them maintain their innate strength. They arrive in this world ready to make a difference; it’s our job to step aside and let them shine.
This article was originally published on June 17, 2015.
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Summary:
This article explores the innate capabilities of girls and the societal pressures that often inhibit their potential. Through personal anecdotes about her children, the author reflects on the contrast between her daughter’s confidence and her son’s more carefree demeanor. The piece advocates for empowering girls to maintain their assertiveness and leadership as they grow.
Keyphrase: girls leadership potential
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