Reaching my mid-30s might not seem like ancient history, and occasionally I still get asked for ID, but lately, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m entering my golden years. How can I tell, you ask? Well, let me break it down for you, my younger friends…
- Bird Watching is My New Hobby
I recently found myself gazing out the window, captivated by a vibrant female cardinal at my bird feeder. Yes, a bird feeder that I actually requested for Mother’s Day. Before long, I’m sure my kids will be showering me with bird-themed gifts for Christmas, and I’ll be the proud owner of a cozy, appliquéd bird sweatshirt during school events. It’s only a matter of time! - Persistent Back Pain
No joke, my back has taken on a life of its own and is constantly reminding me of my age. I’ve resorted to lining up my kids for back rubs, instructing them to use their tiny elbows. They think it’s a game, but I’m left in agony, feeling every bit of my advancing years. - Late-Night Shows? No Thanks!
I’ve started recording The Tonight Show because let’s be real—sleep is a priority. I mean, who stays awake that late anymore? Sorry, Jimmy, but my pillow calls louder than your punchlines. - Game Show Enthusiast
I’ll admit it: Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy have become my guilty pleasures. My heart races when I know the answer, much like Grandma during Bingo night. I don’t actively choose to watch these shows, but if they’re on, I’m glued to the screen. - Weather Forecast Guru
I can practically predict the week’s weather. I knew a cold front was coming through last night, and my kids better wear their jackets this morning. Plus, you can bet there’s an umbrella in my bag—I’m prepared! - Aches and Pains Galore
At this very moment, my neck and thumb are reminding me of their existence. I don’t even know why; they just hurt! I can’t even crochet today thanks to my thumb. And yes, I’m slathering on Bengay like it’s a perfume—smelling like menthol and nostalgia. - Lost in Translation with Slang
I’m officially out of the loop. Bae? Fleek? Turnt up? No idea what those mean. I still say “cool beans” and have a tab open on my computer titled “teen slang words 2015” for reference. - Snapchat Confusion
I gave Snapchat a whirl, and honestly, it just seemed pointless. I struggled to see the pictures without my glasses, and by the time I figured it out, the photo had vanished into cyberspace. - Overwhelmed by Small Children
My kids can handle their cereal on Sunday mornings, and I’m thankful for that. But when I’m faced with the needs of little ones, it’s a panic-inducing experience. The baby train left years ago, and I’m far too young to be a grandma. - Sleep is My Best Friend
Ah, the sweet embrace of sleep. I crave it, need it, and think about it constantly. Social events? Forget it. I’d rather catch up on z’s rather than struggle to stay awake and make the drive. I am officially old and tired.
Looking back, twenty-something me would probably cringe at this list. But as the days go by, it’s clear—I’m morphing into my mother and grandmother more each day. I’m not ready for a cougar phase, so I’ll embrace the inevitable signs of aging, stocking up on hard candy and Bengay along the way.
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Summary
A humorous reflection on the signs of aging, this article covers everything from newfound interests in birdwatching to the struggle with modern slang. Embracing the wisdom of age often comes with aches, a love for sleep, and a shift in priorities, leading to a funny yet relatable perspective on growing older.
Keyphrase: signs you’re getting old
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