Debunking 10 Misconceptions About Breastfeeding Older Children

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As a mother who nursed my children beyond infancy and toddlerhood, I can relate to the mixed reactions surrounding breastfeeding older kids. My eldest son weaned himself while in Pre-K, and my nearly 3-year-old is still nursing strong. I never anticipated that my breastfeeding journey would extend beyond the early years, but as it turns out, it felt completely natural.

Breastfeeding had its challenges when we started; I was just relieved when my son latched on without a struggle. Over time, it became a normal part of our lives, and by the time he turned three, nursing was limited to the comfort of bedtime—much like how some children might cling to a favorite blanket or thumb.

I don’t aim to sway anyone’s opinion on long-term breastfeeding. Each mother and child should determine what works best for them. Reactions to breastfeeding can be strong; I’ve been there myself. However, it’s essential to recognize that our perspectives are shaped by cultural norms, which vary significantly around the world. For many cultures, breastfeeding toddlers is a typical practice, viewed as a nurturing act rather than something sexual.

The Myths About Breastfeeding Older Kids

The following are some widespread myths about breastfeeding older kids, along with my thoughts on each:

  1. “Doesn’t the milk lose its nutritional value over time?”
    Absolutely not! Breast milk retains its nutritional properties throughout the nursing period. The immunities that protect your child persist, too. While supply may decrease as children grow and nurse less, the quality of the milk remains unchanged.
  2. “Can’t you just pump and give it in a cup?”
    For toddlers, nursing is as much about comfort and security as it is about nutrition. It’s a way for children to feel safe and connected. While alternatives like pacifiers or blankets work for some, many mothers prefer nursing to provide that soothing experience.
  3. “What about when they get teeth?”
    Teeth don’t interfere with nursing. The latch is more about the lips and tongue creating a seal. If a child bites, it’s usually a playful act rather than nursing. Teething may cause some discomfort, but biting isn’t a reason to wean.
  4. “What about when they can ask for it?”
    From the moment they’re born, babies signal their desire to nurse. As they grow, they may express this verbally, just as they would for other needs. It’s beneficial to teach them a discreet term for nursing, such as “milk,” to avoid awkward moments in public.
  5. “Aren’t you worried about raising a child who can’t self-soothe?”
    Seeking comfort is a natural behavior for children, whether it’s through nursing, cuddling, or other means. All children gradually learn to self-soothe; nursing is just one tool among many in my parenting toolkit.
  6. “After a certain age, isn’t it just for the mom?”
    You can’t force a child to nurse; they do it out of their own desire. While many moms enjoy the bonding that comes with nursing, it’s not merely for their sake—children derive joy from it, which in turn makes the mother happy.
  7. “Only children in developing countries need extra nutrition.”
    While it’s true that most children in developed nations have access to food, breast milk offers more than just nutrition. It provides essential immune factors and fosters a loving bond between mother and child.
  8. “But your child will remember it!”
    Yes, some children may recall the experience of breastfeeding, often associating it with warmth and love rather than anything sexual. Most children stop nursing well before they reach an age where they would associate breasts with sexuality.
  9. “That sounds like sexual abuse.”
    This misconception is deeply upsetting. Breastfeeding is a natural and nurturing act, not a sexual one. Children are not coerced into it; they naturally gravitate towards it.
  10. “Aren’t you worried they’ll never stop?”
    I used to worry about that, but weaning happens eventually. Children transition away from nursing just like they do from other milestones, such as diapers or training wheels. Over time, nursing becomes less of a priority, often replaced by other comforting rituals.

Many mothers, like me, nurse their older children, but it often happens in private rather than in public. We should recognize that long-term nursing is both normal and more common than it appears. Instead of criticizing, let’s strive to learn about the benefits of this bonding experience.

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In summary, let’s keep an open mind and understand that breastfeeding older children is a personal choice that can be beneficial for both mother and child.

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