Before Offering Advice to New Parents, Recall Your Own Experience

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As experienced parents often feel compelled to share their wisdom with new moms and dads, it’s essential to consider how those well-intentioned remarks might be received by someone who is sleep-deprived and anxious. Phrases like “Cherish every moment!” can be frustratingly unrealistic. Let’s be honest: no one truly treasures every second spent with a colicky newborn or a tantrumming toddler in a crowded store. Such statements can come off as condescending, suggesting that new parents aren’t appreciating the chaos of their new lives enough.

When you find yourself wanting to offer “helpful advice” to new parents you encounter, take a moment to reflect on how such comments impacted you during those exhausting early days. If you’ve managed to block those memories out, here’s a little reminder:

  • “Make sure to care for yourself to better care for your baby.”
    How it felt: I could use a sandwich and maybe a little quiet time, but that’s not happening right now.
  • “If you breastfeed, the baby weight will just disappear.”
    How it felt: I’m not exactly a royal leaving the hospital looking flawless, and if you mention my postpartum belly one more time, I might just lose it!
  • “Sleep when the baby sleeps.”
    How it felt: And when exactly do I fit in a shower, prepare a meal, or tackle that mountain of thank-you notes?
  • “Schedule personal time for yourself away from the baby.”
    How it felt: That’s sound advice; now, if only you’d cover the cost of a babysitter, I might actually be able to relax.
  • “Don’t forget to nurture your relationship with your spouse.”
    How it felt: The last thing I want right now is more intimacy—please just keep your distance!
  • “Don’t overwhelm yourself with too many tasks; chores can wait.”
    How it felt: Sorry, but I’m drowning in laundry and the fridge is empty!
  • “The days are long, but the years are short.”
    How it felt: That may be true, but can we speed up to nap time?

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In summary, while sharing advice may come from a place of care, it’s crucial to remember the emotional weight such comments can carry for new parents. Reflecting on your own experiences can lead to more empathetic and supportive interactions.

Keyphrase: parenting advice for new parents

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