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The Dynamics of Motherhood by Sarah Mitchell
Updated: July 2, 2020
Originally Published: May 30, 2015
There was a time when I found myself utterly terrified by something as simple as a chapter in my eighth-grade science textbook. For reasons I can’t quite grasp now, it was the section on plate tectonics that struck fear into my heart. It wasn’t the concept of tectonic plates themselves—the enormous slabs of the earth’s crust shifting and crashing into each other, causing eruptions and altering our world. No, I was fine with that; I understood that some things are beyond our control. But I distinctly remember feeling an overwhelming discomfort about it.
Perhaps it was the realization, even at the tender age of 14, that these tectonic shifts would serve as a poignant metaphor for my future. A metaphor I’d revisit during every significant upheaval in my own life.
What do those shifts manifest as? They’re glaringly obvious when you think about it. Milestones such as graduations, entering college, career transitions, marriage, relocations, and the arrival of children all represent monumental earthquakes—seismic shifts in one’s existence.
As I approached the birth of my son Leo, I couldn’t help but dread the monumental adjustment from one child to two. Four years had passed since my daughter Mia’s arrival, and the thought of juggling diapers and baby gear again felt overwhelming. Mia had monopolized our household’s attention, and I worried about how to fit another piece into our intricate puzzle. Little did I know, both children would eventually talk over one another, often competing with the television or radio for my attention. It turns out, there’s no shortage of chatter in our home!
I navigated the transition from one to two kids and adjusted to our new reality. I’ve weathered other significant changes too: moving from our apartment to our house, renovating our outdated kitchen, facing job changes, and dealing with health crises. The landscape of my life continues to shift. I’ve clung to the mirage of control, meticulously planning lunches the night before, keeping our calendars updated, and ensuring bills are paid on time.
While the major tectonic shifts—those that cause earthquakes—are easily recognizable, the subtle, ongoing movements can easily go unnoticed. The earth may tremble beneath us, and yet we often fail to see the gradual changes occurring every day. Personally, I tend to reflect and express gratitude after surviving a “seismic event.” But amidst all this change, do I take the time to appreciate the beauty of transformation as it unfolds? With the landscape perpetually evolving, when do I pause to admire the view?
Recently, I’ve sensed another shift brewing, one that feels different from any I’ve experienced before. It’s not solely about my children—though they’re changing too. Mia is about to embark on her middle school journey, and Leo has successfully navigated the early elementary years. My career is thriving; I’m no longer in survival mode, but I’m also not fiercely pushing to prove myself as I did during those intense “Lean In” years. I feel like I’ve overcome the most challenging hurdles of juggling work and young kids. Yet, I still feel a sense of unease.
For over a decade, I’ve been a working mother, and I’ve felt boxed in by societal expectations that suggest I can’t have it all. The pressure to compromise, to balance this high-wire act of motherhood and career, has been immense. I’ve poured my heart into raising wonderful children who, despite their occasional mischief, generally bring joy to our lives. I’ve climbed the corporate ladder, achieving more than I ever dreamed possible. I strive to create a warm home environment and nurture my marriage, growing alongside my partner as we build our lives together. And yet, I find myself grappling with the sentiment that it’s simply not enough.
I possess a great deal of “all,” but the joy of it often eludes me. I’ve worked tirelessly, and even when I reach the pinnacle of a mountain formed by the tumultuous intersections of my choices, the breathtaking views I anticipated are frequently obscured by clouds. Instead of reveling in the beauty, I often focus on the labor that brought me to these heights.
There is still time. I recognize this because I know there are more peaks in my future—whether they come from my children, my career, or uncharted aspects of myself. I’m fortunate to realize this now, as it gives me the opportunity to seek more joy along these newly carved paths. While I can hope for glorious moments at the summit, I must also learn to stop staring at my feet and appreciate the scenery. Life, especially motherhood, shouldn’t be about waiting solely for those peaks; the valleys offer their own kind of beauty. A mother understands that it’s not enough to reflect post-earthquake; there’s an abundance of beauty to be found even in the arduous task of reshaping our landscapes.
We can’t control the geological transformations around us. The currents of change may be swift, driven by deep movements below the surface, and the sands may shift. This current feeling of change urges me to slow down and remind myself to embrace the present. To seek out a supportive hand and occasionally pause to take in the new vistas along the way.
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Summary
In “The Dynamics of Motherhood,” Sarah Mitchell reflects on the seismic shifts in her life as a mother and professional. She draws parallels between tectonic plate movements and the changes that define her journey through motherhood and career challenges. Despite the constant flux, she recognizes the importance of appreciating both the peaks and valleys of her experiences, finding joy in the present rather than waiting for future milestones.
Keyphrase: Motherhood Dynamics
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