How Can I Feel Lonely When I’m Surrounded by People?

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I’m feeling isolated. Just the other day, I shared this with my single sibling, who replied, “But you’re with people all day! How can you be lonely?” It’s a question I’ve pondered countless times since becoming a parent. How is it possible to feel so alone when I have two little humans practically glued to me—yes, even during my bathroom breaks?

Could it be that my little companions lack the capacity for deep conversations? Is it because our interactions mostly revolve around me issuing commands like, “Wash your hands! Don’t hit your sister! Get your hand out of there!” Or perhaps it’s due to my partner’s frequent travels—he might as well be living in another state.

Regardless, the loneliness is real.

There are days where I don’t engage with another adult at all. Days when no one asks about my well-being or seeks my thoughts and feelings. I navigate the chaos of parenthood without even a simple glance from someone who understands. Someone who could offer a nod that conveys, “I get it.” That’s the kind of connection I miss, and it’s incredibly isolating.

Before I became a mom, I envisioned motherhood as thrilling, challenging, frightening, and fun. But I never anticipated the loneliness that would come with it.

Motherhood is so all-consuming and draining that loneliness seems almost inevitable. After a long day of managing tiny tantrums and sibling squabbles, the thought of socializing is exhausting. I often lack the energy to reach out to friends or even have a meaningful conversation with my partner by the end of the day.

In an effort to combat this loneliness, I try to connect with my children. As they grow, I find that the situation improves—though it’s far from perfect. I remember those grueling newborn days when I felt invisible, like I was on a distant planet while everyone else was light-years away. Now, I can somewhat converse with my kids, but that doesn’t substitute for genuine adult interaction. There’s a profound difference between chatting with a toddler and sharing thoughts with someone who truly listens and responds with, “I hear you.”

And that is what makes it lonely.

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In summary, while motherhood can be filled with joy and love, it often comes with an unexpected sense of loneliness. As we navigate the complexities of parenting, finding those adult connections becomes increasingly vital.

Keyphrase: loneliness in motherhood

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