Princess Diana once remarked, “There are three of us in this marriage, so it feels a bit crowded.” I can certainly relate.
Instead of a rival vying for my partner’s attention, it’s a much more innocent contender—our dog. With his soulful brown eyes that seem to look right through me and an odor that could clear a room, he has somehow become the apple of my partner’s eye. And it appears the sentiment is mutual; our dog is undoubtedly the focal point of my partner’s affections.
When my partner comes home from work, his first instinct is to seek out our dog for a snuggle. After ensuring the pooch’s needs are met (and then some), he might finally turn to me with a casual “How was your day?” No rush to offer me a drink or even a simple hug. To be honest, I’d likely give him a playful shove if he tried to ruffle my hair, but a refreshing gin & tonic wouldn’t hurt either.
So, what are my options? Should I try to overlook the situation? Transform myself into a slobbering, shedding, senior dog with a penchant for chasing squirrels? Or perhaps I should form an alliance with this furry rival for affection?
Oh yes, this is my family we’re talking about. I should mention that it’s not just my partner; everyone seems to idolize the dog, regardless of his mischievous antics, like those late-night accidents (guess who has to clean that up?) and his knack for turning socks into chew toys (the source of many morning cleaning sprees).
Moreover, the dog is spoiled beyond belief. While my partner and I manage a rare date night every few years, he and the dog enjoy long, leisurely walks at least twice a day. Our kids might survive on a meager diet of potatoes and Spam, but the dog dines on top-tier raw meat. He gets pampered with regular spa-like grooming sessions while my own idea of a treat is a hurried shower. (Okay, I may be exaggerating a bit; our kids wouldn’t recognize a can of Spam if it landed in their whole wheat pasta, and the dog has never actually seen a spa. He prefers mud baths, thank you very much.)
I’ve thought about having a serious conversation along the lines of “Who do you love more?” But that seems a bit desperate and absurd. After all, he chose to marry me, not the dog—though I sometimes wonder if societal norms were different, maybe the scales would tip.
The bond between my partner and the dog is undeniable, having developed over 14 years versus our 10. I suppose it’s natural, even if I maintain better hygiene and contribute to our household income instead of draining it on veterinary bills and necessary surgeries to extract the dog’s latest misadventures.
It’s not that I dislike the dog. He’s quite charming, really—good-natured and affectionate. Though he’s a bit neurotic when it comes to his human companion, creating a codependency that could inspire a ballad by Hall & Oates, he’s overall a decent pet. Still, I yearn for the day when I no longer have to pluck black dog hairs from my cream-colored carpets.
But here’s the catch: that day will inevitably come, and it may leave a void so large that I might just be tempted to find a new, bouncy four-legged friend to fill it. Next time, I’ll be the one making the choice of a new “housemate.”
If you’re interested in expanding your family, consider checking out this excellent resource for pregnancy or explore these fertility supplements to help you on your journey. You might also want to look into this at-home insemination kit for a more hands-on approach.
In summary, while I may feel overshadowed by our dog’s charm, the dynamics of our family are what make our home uniquely ours. Embracing the quirks and bonds we share, even if they include a furry rival, is all part of the journey.
Keyphrase: Why My Partner Loves the Dog More Than Me
Tags: “home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”