Navigating the turbulent waters of a moody tween can feel like a full-time job—especially as my daughter approaches her teenage years. At 12, she’s on the verge of 13, and I can only hope we’re nearing the end of this emotional rollercoaster. Honestly, I’m not sure how many more episodes of door-slamming and “I love you, I hate you!” I can endure without losing my sanity.
A recent feature in Parent Life explains that the emotional upheaval seen in tweens often coincides with a surge of growth hormones and significant brain development, particularly in the areas that regulate emotions. Psychologist and author Mark Thompson likens this phase to a car with the accelerator floored while the brakes are stuck—essentially, emotions can run wild during this time. Since tweens are typically reluctant to ask for guidance, here are three practical ways to cope with their moodiness—none of which require a glass of wine!
1. Stay Above the Fray
Parenting expert and counselor Sarah Johnson suggests that tweens often assert their independence by testing boundaries and challenging authority. The trick is to remain composed and self-assured. Instead of reacting to their tone, focus on their words. If your moody preteen expresses disdain for dinner, calmly acknowledge their feelings without letting it ruin the evening. A simple response like, “I’m sorry you’re not a fan of the lasagna” can keep the conversation flowing and diffuse tension.
2. Promote Healthy Lifestyle Choices
It’s no secret that fatigue can heighten emotions. Encourage your tween to engage in at least an hour of physical activity each day. Joining them for a walk or a bike ride can be a great way to bond, but remember to keep it balanced. Adequate nutrition and sleep are crucial for maintaining their well-being—these essentials often fall by the wayside during periods of high activity. Check out resources like March of Dimes for guidance on maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
3. Embrace Active Listening
At this stage, it’s vital to foster open communication. Instead of jumping into problem-solving mode, take the time to really listen to what your tween is expressing. Initiate conversations during calm moments, whether you’re driving or tossing a ball around. Interestingly, some tweens find texting a less intimidating way to converse with their parents, so don’t hesitate to try that approach too. For more ideas on connecting with your child, visit Make A Mom.
It’s important to recognize that while mood swings are common, they can sometimes resemble symptoms of depression. If your child seems persistently sad or anxious, don’t hesitate to seek professional advice.
In summary, managing tween mood swings can be challenging, but with patience and the right approach, it’s possible to navigate this phase more smoothly. By staying calm, promoting healthy habits, and listening actively, you can help your tween feel understood and supported.
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