As parents, we often grapple with the question of whether or not to create a gift registry for our kids’ birthdays. In an article by Anna Monroe in Parenting Journal, she emphasizes that gift registries can shift the focus from the joy of gathering with friends to an obsession with presents. This can lead children to believe that they are entitled to every item on their list, or worse, that gifts only hold value if they’ve specifically requested them. I couldn’t agree more.
When my children receive invitations to birthday parties, we enjoy picking out a gift together. I’ve never been fond of receiving a list from other parents dictating what to buy; if that’s the route we’re taking, I’d rather just hand over a cash gift and call it a day. Instead, I sit down with my kids in front of our computer (because who needs to go to a store when online shopping is a click away?) and they select something they believe their friend would appreciate. After I filter the choices by what’s available for quick shipping and fits our budget, they not only choose the gift but also create a card. Often, the present is opened after the party when the kids have gone home. I’m torn on this; while it might be nice to open gifts in front of everyone for smaller gatherings, things can get chaotic in larger ones.
I do recognize that some family members appreciate a bit of direction when it comes to buying gifts for the children. They want to ensure the kids enjoy what they receive, and since they may not be immersed in the daily lives of their young relatives, a little guidance can go a long way. I’m more than happy to assist by sharing links to desired items or providing some ideas.
It brings back memories of making Christmas lists with a friend ages ago; mine contained suggestions for family and friends, while his was a detailed list of his own wants, complete with brands and specifics. That was eye-opening! Now, my own kids compile their lists for the holidays, knowing full well that they shouldn’t expect to receive everything on it.
Monroe captures the essence of the matter nicely: “Not every desire in life will be fulfilled, not every good or even reasonable expectation will be met. Cultivating gratitude in all circumstances is a truly valuable skill.” These are wise words to live by.
In conclusion, while a gift registry might simplify things for some, it can also inadvertently teach kids unrealistic expectations about gifts. Encourage your child to appreciate what they receive, whether it’s on their list or not.
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