Today, I reached out to you feeling completely overwhelmed. Without a moment’s hesitation, you agreed to come over once you finished your laundry. You joined me and the boys for lunch, and just your presence brought me a sense of calm; I was able to breathe again. Why does everything feel so secure when you’re near?
Even at 31, there are times I want to run to you for comfort. You always have the right words to soothe my worries. You’re the only one who perceives everything I leave unsaid and sees through the facades I try to maintain.
In some of my toughest moments, I find myself stepping into your shoes. I now grasp that this is what you did for me. There are days when I feel invisible, as if no one notices me. At times, I feel like I’m endlessly giving, only to be asked to give even more, and it all goes unnoticed. My partner sometimes makes me feel like my contributions pale in comparison to his, especially when I have little to show at the end of the day. The house remains chaotic, the sink fills up again, and the bathroom floor is a mess. I often struggle to remember what I accomplished throughout the day.
It feels like you’re the only one who truly recognizes my efforts. You understand how deeply I invest myself and how much love I pour into everything I do.
During those moments of giving, I have vivid memories of you doing the same for me. I think about how I save the grapes for the boys because I know how much Jake enjoys them. I recall that there were always grapes in our house when I was growing up. I never knew if you liked them, but I assumed you didn’t since you never ate them. Even now, you encourage me to take the last of anything because you say, “I don’t need it anyway.” I believed you, but now that I’m a mother, I realize you were offering it to me, even if you wanted it, just because you prioritized my happiness.
In my most selfless moments, I recognize how much you continue to sacrifice for me. All day, I listen to others share their stories and achievements. I witness Lego towers being built and daring jumps being attempted. I’m asked to observe and cheer for everyone else, and only after the kids are asleep do I find a moment to reflect on myself.
Sometimes, I fear I do the same to you. I call you, eager to share every detail of my life, speaking rapidly about all that’s happening. You’re the only one who listens with genuine interest, celebrating with me in a way no one else does. Yet, I often hang up realizing I never took the time to ask how you were.
You are my sanctuary. You nurture me even when I don’t recognize it. You make me feel cherished and acknowledged, and I never truly valued that until now, a time when my needs often come last. I’ve come to understand what it’s like to be the safe haven for someone else.
I once thought I had outgrown my need for you, that I was forging paths you hadn’t walked. You let me believe that, but you’ve always been there, just out of sight, ready to help me back up whenever I stumbled, just like you did when I was a child. Words cannot convey the gratitude I feel, but I want you to know that I see you now. I recognize your sacrifices and the depth of your love. I finally see you, Mom.
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Summary
The author reflects on her relationship with her mother, recognizing the sacrifices and love that shaped her upbringing. As she navigates her own motherhood journey, she sees the depth of her mother’s care and support, realizing how often she takes it for granted. The piece highlights the importance of acknowledging parental sacrifices while also providing useful resources for those exploring parenting and insemination options.
Keyphrase: Understanding motherhood and sacrifice
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